Monthly Archives: January 2012

Some things in life mean more than others.

Family.

It’s hard to be happy, but I am thankful that Grandpa is back with Grandma once again, where he truly wants to be.

So yesterday after I pulled myself together from the epic “working outside in subzero temps” debacle of 2012 and got over my raging, though kind of unfounded (in retrospect, of course) anger, I had a lovely evening. I met my friend Allyson for the opening night performance of Henry VIII: All Is True at Cincinnati Shakespeare Company. We both thoroughly enjoyed the show and the ladies’ costumes were to die for! This Shakespeare history play is a must see, especially if you’re a history buff or, you know, just obsessed with Henry and his litany of wives like I am. Especially that sly Anne Boleyn – what a sneak! It was a very nice evening at the theatre with a good friend, despite the bitter cold and snow. And this morning between a theatre workshop engagement and my shift at the museum I met Ted for a lunch date, which is always a welcome (and tasty) way to sneak in some time with the dude.

But onto what’s really been tossing around in my head lately:

Courage
Confidence
Comparing

I’ve been reflecting on some things lately, especially now that I’m really pushing myself back into acting and applying for full time professional theatre jobs instead of four theatre part-timers. I think courage, confidence, and comparing are three things I’ve struggled with for a while, at least since college. But this year I’m making a concerted effort to be more courageous in the face of things that scare me – like driving in the snow and on potentially icy roads, auditioning at equity houses, teaching theatre to very young children who are not in the age range I most often work with, and applying for the good theatre jobs that I really want, even though I fear rejection. I’ve done all four of these things already in 2012 and I like how it feels, how I’m already less afraid now than before because I’ve had some practice. It hasn’t been easy and it’s still a struggle, but having courage feels good.

I am also working to build up my confidence, because I think somewhere along the way I might have lost it. Theatre is a business of rejection – we all know that. Lots and lots of “no’s” before you finally get your “yes”. Maybe once upon a time I got hurt by the “no’s” or maybe I got used to being around super talented people all the time and since I was so young and still learning, I feared that I wasn’t one of them. But I am. I can be. Of only I start trusting myself again, and believing in my talents and skills again, and putting myself out here again – this time armed with the knowledge that “no” isn’t bad and I shouldn’t let “no” diminish my confidence or make me forget all the cool things I have already accomplished or still want to do. “No” is just “You did your best and there’s something even better out there for you. You just haven’t found it yet.”

It took me years to reach this point, but I am so relieved that I can honestly say that I am no longer hurt or offended or embarrassed by “no” because I believe that it brings me one step closer to the right job or the right part for me, which is what I really want. Not being your own worst critic or so hard on yourself feels mighty fine!

And that brings me to comparing. In the past three years I have had the privilege of working with the cream of the theatre crop. Ungodly talented and incredibly kind directors, actors, and administrators that I looked up to, learned from, and am grateful to have friended. Being around such talented, funny, and good-hearted people is wonderful, but also a little daunting, and the competition can be terrifying. So this year, in addition to being courageous enough to confidentially do the things that scare me, I’m going to work on being more fair to myself and not comparing my talents or achievements to the talents or achievements of others. I’m good at some things and others are good at other things. End of story. There really is no way to fairly compare something so abstract, so I’m just not going to compare anymore. I can only compare my work to my work, and so I will stick with that.

And I have a sneaking suspicion that these 3 C’s just might work hand-in-hand. Without the comparison nonsense I will feel more confident in my abilities, and the more confident I feel, the more easily it comes to be courageous and defeat my own fears. And who doesn’t want to befriend or work with or hire someone like that?

I’m really excited to feel the effects of positive change this year! Between these and my other resolutions (see my previous posts for more on that!) I’m hoping for a joyful 2012. It won’t be without its trials, I’m sure, but I can only control me and how I face those trials. And so that’s what I will work on.

How was your Friday night? Have you had any deep thoughts or revelations lately?

Friend:  So, what are your New Years resolutions this year?

Me: I was actually going to blog about that today, but then I didn’t want to get out my iPad at work and type it all in, so I thought a post about my awesome paper wig would be sufficient.

***

There’s nothing like a good friend to hold you accountable.

I did make a list of attainable aspirations this year. I figure there’s no sense in listing an endless litany of lofty goals that I will only feel disappointed about when they don’t happen, so I stuck to the realistic this year – stuff we can, and want, to make happen. Then I took a look at that list and realized I could divide all my goals into 5 action-driven keys words. And the system made sense to me, and I felt excited about my goals, not overwhelmed.

So my words for 2012 are…play, save, give, strive, and fit.

And here’s a quick run-down of what I’m geared up to accomplish in 2012:

• Secure a good full-time professional theatre job, or even two part-time theatre jobs (just not four, please, not four). So far I’ve been able to do this every year since I graduated college…I’ve been so lucky! I’m hoping this luck holds out for me!
• Design and launch my professional portfolio and website for acting and theatre education
• Act in at least one play and one musical this year. I seriously need to get back into this!
• Finish up getting the last of my EMC points and finally go union by joining the Actor’s Equity Association (woo!!)
• Get back into dancing by taking tap, ballet, and rhythm & motion classes
• Design a Blurb photo book for our time living in Cincy
• Revamp the ol’ blog
• Journal five things every day that I am thankful for
• Donate or volunteer at least six times this year – more if I can possibly make it happen!
• Engage my social side a little more often than…well, never…by making a point to go out with my friends at least once a month (I’m surprisingly bad at this)
• Take some trips this year: one to see my family, one to see Ted’s family, and two trips just for us – one will be a weekend in Door County for our wedding anniversary, and the other will, hopefully, be to somewhere a little more exotic!
• Get our affairs in order. This includes our wills, powers of attorney, medical release forms, retirement accounts, insurances and all that grown-up mumbo-jumbo that we really should have figured out by now.
• Add appropriate amounts to our retirement savings account, 6-month emergency living expenses saving account, and trip savings account. I suppose starting the last two accounts would be a good first step.
• Get back into exercising when it gets a bit warmer out (we don’t have bikes and roller blades for nothing!) and maintain my weight (basically, I just need to stay the hell out of The Bonbonerie bakery and I’ll be good to go).

Yesterday afternoon I met my Texas-native, Shakespeare-lovin’, fashion-forward, margarita-drinkin’ Cincy friend Allyson for a Friday afternoon cupcake date (which must become a weekly tradition!) at The Bonbonerie in O’Bryonville, an amazing bakery in Cincinnati that bakes up the most delectable fine pastries, sweets, and afternoon tea that you could ever hope to experience. I was so overwhelmed by all the tasty and, really really pretty choices that I ordered two of the most delicious looking confections before I even knew what was happening. I had a freshly torched vanilla bean creme brulee and a salted caramel chocolate cupcake, and Allyson had a slice of the most epic opera cream chocolate cake I have ever laid eyes on. We were served on fancy china and we savored every bite while we dished about acting, Shakespeare, auditions, the hunt for theatre jobs, new years resolutions, our aspirations for the year, new apartments, swoon-worthy yet budget-friendly decorations, significant others, and other such lovely topics.

It. Was. Divine.

I could eat that creme brulee every day of my life. And I don’t think a cupcake and some solid, uplifting girl talk once a week would kill me either.

That same night Allyson brought her boyfriend Aaron over for some homemade margaritas, guacamole, pizza, and a friendly Wii gaming competition. She also brought me flowers, which melted my heart.

Creme brulee, salted caramel, margaritas, guacamole, and flowers all in one day?

I’m a lucky girl!

And my wonderful Christmas presents from Ted arrived this week! Do you want to know what I got!?

Yeah, amazing! I chose the awesome cute and comfy Pumas I wear every single day to run errands, teach dance, and basically live in, and this great leather ochre-colored Fossil crossbody purse to replace my current purse, which is in a horrific state of decay and needs to be retired ASAP. I love them both!!

And then Ted surprised me with one more unexpected gift…the pretty forest green leather Fossil wallet I’d also been eyeing! Best husband ever.

So lucky!

And I finally used that $50 museum gift shop certificate that I needed to deplete by the end of the month. Contrary to my silly musings, I did not clean the gift shop out of 75 rock candy sticks to make into a dazzling sugar-chandelier for New Years Eve – though that is a truly epic idea. I settled on two creative play/storytelling games that I can use as teaching aides when I’m coaching theatre classes or workshops, a coin robot building kit and a Titanic documentary DVD for Ted & I to enjoy on a geeky date night (Friend Olympics: Ted is a Titanic information fanatic and a coin collector), and of course, 5 rock candy sticks. Because you knew I wasn’t going to leave that gift shop without them.

This morning I helped out with two neat theatre classes for kids at this great old barn in Mariemont (one of our absolute favorite Cincinnati neighborhoods) that was renovated to become a sweet little cultural arts center, rental facility, and gallery space. The architecture of the building itself was a sight to behold and I love what they did with the renovation in terms of the flooring, the paint colors, and the track lighting. It was such a fun, unique, relaxing space to teach in! I could get used to teaching in a space like that. The classes we taught were very cool too. One was a science in theatre class where, using science and the three states of matter (solid, liquid, and gas), the kids learned about how we do special effects in the theatre. We played with lab coats, beakers, dry ice, water, food coloring, a slinky, hangers, tambourines, and more to teach the kids about the states of matter and how we can use them to create different effects and moods onstage, and also a bit about sound waves and vibrations and creative ways to create sound effects depending on the states of matter. They finished off the class making up a scene to perform using their new science knowledge to create their own special effects. Not a bad way to spend a morning!

I love when I get to relish in pretty things, and tasty treats, and creativity!

What fun things have you done lately?

As we tuned in on NYE to watch the New York ball drop, a commercial from Walt Disney Resorts reminded me that 2012 is a leap year. It was a two part commercial. Part one (aired a few minutes prior to the new year) announced that 2012 would be a leap year and that viewers should stay tuned because Disney had a big announcement to make (and, you know, that whole ball drop thing was coming up too). Part two (aired a few minutes into the new year) was the announcement, something about the DisneyWorld and DisneyLand resorts being open 24-hours on February 29, leap day.

The premise of the commercial was “what would you do if you had one more day?” Of course, Disney’s hope with their commercial and subsequent “One More Disney Day” campaign is that if you were given the gift of just one more day, you’d spend it at one of the Disney resorts making magic with your loved ones. While it is highly unlikely that Ted and I will be scrounging together the bucks to spend a day making magic waiting in long-ass lines at Disney this year, the commercial did get me thinking.

“What would I do if I were given just one more day?”

I thought about the things that are most important to me in this life. The list is short and simple: My husband, my family, my friends, love, laughter, adventure, great food, seeing and appreciating all the incredible places and astounding, miraculous beauty the world has to offer, and sharing it all with others. Everything else is filler.

So I dreamed up two scenarios. The first being a limitless, no-holds-barred, time-and-money-are-no-obstacle, leap day of my dreams and the second being a little more realistic of a leap day plan.

Here’s what I came up with:

Dream Leap Day – I’d invite all of my nearest and dearest friends and family and even some random person who has been struggling and could really use a break to vacation with me at some truly wondrous locale (Machu Picchu, the pyramids in Egypt, a castle and gardens in Germany, the baths in Budapest, the Blue Lagoon in Iceland, a private island in the tropics, the snowy igloos and aurora borealis of the Lapland in Sweden, the blue waters of Greece, the vineyards of Italy, the Great Wall of China, a palace in Poland or Russia, the rice fields of Bali…you get where I’m going with this) where we’d dine on an endless smorgasbord of exceptionally divine food and drink, and we’d love and laugh and adventure and explore and spend this one day together, doing something truly magical and appreciating every second of it.

Realistic Leap Day – Since I only work from 2:30-5:00 p.m. on Wednesdays I would treat myself to a little something special that morning – maybe a long mid-day nap, or tea, a cupcake  and a good book at a sweet little cafe, or a luxurious massage, or a walk through one of Cincy’s pretty parks. I would call my family just to check in, say hello and tell them that I love them. I would try to give my kids a really fun day at work. I would give some money to that homeless person on the street corner. Then after work I would treat my husband to an awesome dinner out at a little restaurant with phenomenal eats. Perhaps we’d meet some friends afterward for a night out on the town or for some good old fashioned fun – bowling, movie, board or video games, a sporting event, or an evening at the comedy club or even just watching the world go by from the top of Mt. Adams. I would spend time with the people I care about, and treat them to a little something nice if finances allowed, and appreciate one extra day to laugh and love.

This year, that age-old wish of all the things I could do if I had “just one more day” is a reality because we are all being given the gift of one more day. One more day to hold your husband tight. One more day to tell your parents that you appreciate them. One more day to celebrate friendship. One more day for that dream vacation to see the world if you’re that lucky. One more day to help out someone in need. I encourage you all to take just five minutes to think about the things that mean the most to you. If you were given just one more day, how would you spend it? Who would you spend it with? What would you do? What would you treat yourself and others to? What would you appreciate? What have you always wanted to see or do? Would you volunteer to feed the homeless, or finally adopt a pet, or make peace with someone, or spend it doing your favorite hobby?

I know that leap day falls on a Wednesday this year, so most of us will be working and unable to take that day off to spend galavanting at an amusement park, or curled up in the arms of our family, or to embark on that world-class, exotic vacation, but I urge you to think about what you can do with the gift of one more day this year. It doesn’t have to be costly or extravagant. It doesn’t have to require a whole lot of time or effort.

Think of one or two little things you can do to celebrate that one extra day this year, and go out there and be thankful and enjoy it!

What are you going to try to do on February 29?