Go For Me, Cincinnati

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Somebody NEEDS to go to Turkey Bowl for me this year. Seriously. I am truly bummed that I will not be in town next week to partake in this. I can think of nothing more rewarding than flinging a frozen turkey at a bunch of bowling pins on the outdoor ice rink in Fountain Square. Nothing.

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While we’re at it, you can also go to Balluminaria for me this weekend on Mirror Lake in Eden Park. Another Cincy event I had been desperately looking forward to attending for the entire past year but, alas, no dice.

SOMEBODY PLEASE GO AND ENJOY THE WORLD FOR ME.

And bring me back some of these from the Taste of Belgium!

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God Bless Texas

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Alternatively titled “The Weekend In Which I Came Home to Texas and Ate Three Times My Own Body Weight.”

That wasn’t even a joke. It was four days of truly horrifying quantities of non-stop food consumption.

In other words, it was glorious!

Kind of hard not to partake when a literal tub of sangria awaits your arrival as soon as you walk in the door. I knew I always liked these people.

There was – of course – the wedding feast to celebrate the marriage of my niece Jenn to her fiance Caleb, the mimosa bar stocked with champagne and flavored juices, the chocolate fondue fountain with assorted delicious dippers, the Mexican fiesta rehearsal dinner, guacamole (this is a food group in and of itself), three days of cake (bridal shower, groom’s cake for the rehearsal dinner, and wedding cake), a full pint of Blue Bell Moollennium Crunch ice cream…uh, for breakfast (oops?), multiple mugs of homemade sangria, fried chicken and mashed potatoes, cheesy tex-mex enchiladas complete with rice and beans, sushi, a mountain of the best mac n’ cheese in the state, s’mores and jumbo marshmallows enjoyed fireside, petit fours (4 cakes and counting), breakfast tacos, cheesecake with strawberries and more champagne (five cakes!), several hazelnut cappuccinos with biscotti, and continual nibbles from meat and cheese and fruit and veggie platters. In conclusion, if it was edible and within a twenty-five mile radius, I beasted it.

My jeans are screaming.

I’m pretty psyched to eat broccoli for the next month.

But let’s not dwell on that when there are so many other uniquely Texas things to dwell on…

Like the requisite sketchy-looking brown hairy spider that remained perched on the stone wall of our entryway for a good day and a half – haunting my dreams every time I passed by him, or the coral snake that slithered across the rock garden in our yard that entranced the kids into fits of joy, or the massive beetle thing adorning yet another outer wall of our house, or even the praying mantis – captured Sunday morning for my nieces and nephews to investigate before he was released, unharmed, back into the wilds of the great outdoors.

Freaky bugs are a Texas requirement.

No trip to Texas is complete without a plethora of nasty bug sightings.

But no scorpions this time, so we’ll consider that a huge “welcome home!” bonus.

Though the mantis was kind of adorable.

“Can I come out now?”

The spider, beetle, and snake? No thanks.

I landed in Ol’ San Antone (as our captain repeatedly referred to it as) on Friday morning, walked outside the airport terminal, and promptly peeled off several layers of sweater tights and cozy wool wraps when I realized it was a balmy 75 degrees out (and not the 25 degrees I left in) and, furthermore, that I was dramatically dying of heat stroke. I took a moment to question what kind of Texan thinks 75 degrees is too hot, silently mourned the loss of my supreme heat tolerance (and pride), and bellowed something along the lines of “what happened to me!?” and “who have I become!?” whilst I sweated buckets in the Texas cold front.

Once I got over myself, I enjoyed an afternoon with the family shopping for the wedding feast eats, ironing and folding tablecloths, and setting up tables, decorations, food, and favor baggies at the reception venue.

I may have also imbibed in some sangria and relaxation, enjoying the southwest-esque styled backyard I adore and have missed so dearly. There’s nothing quite like the Texas hill country.

It’s good to be home.

Friday night we all gathered for a Mexican fiesta rehearsal dinner catered by my favorite Boerne restaurant (epic mac n’ cheese and guacamole, I kid you not), complete with pinatas!

Brightly colored glitter-and-candy-filled pinatas should be a part of every celebration.

That is, in fact, a three-tiered Star Wars cheesecake, lovingly and awesomely made by my sister-in-law (and the bride’s mom) Tracy.

Saturday morning was all about the most epic 19-person Texas landscape family photo shoot in existence. The whole entire Bidus clan only gets together once every few years (Thank God for family weddings) so when we do, we make the most of it. An hour-and-a-half, a trillion pictures in every conceivable combination, and about two-hundred immature fart jokes later, I sure hope there are some funny outtakes to show for it.

Also, because Ted couldn’t make it this weekend because of his work schedule, I was the only Bidus kid without a spouse to take an immediate family-unit photo with. There are two ways I could have taken this disappointing news. You bet your buns I gleefully turned this into an opportunity to take professional pictures with my cat.

Pictures forthcoming. You’re welcome.

Maybe next time my husband will show up at family gatherings. (Love you, dude!)

After the photo shoot we all hauled off in our own directions to prepare for the wedding, and then came together to set up and make it happen!

Jenn and Caleb’s wedding was at Ring Mountain, a sweet and totally gorgeous brand new southwest chic little event venue perfectly situated at the top of a tall hill overlooking some of the finest views in the Texas Hill Country. Hills, lakes, and longhorns on a sunny day in November are the perfect fixings for a breathtaking Texas wedding.

God, I love this state.

My niece and nephew served as ring bearer and flower girl. Adorable.

Perhaps we should have clarified that the flower petals go on the aisle, not directly under the flower girl?

So gorgeous I can hardly stand it.

Yesssssss.

This was the cake service set used 46 years ago by my parents at their wedding, over 20 years ago by my brother Brent and his wife Tracy at their wedding, and now by their daughter Jenn and her shiny new husband Caleb at their wedding.

My brother Brent’s family. Fine looking folks!

With mom and dad, in our natural habitat.

The wild west Texas wind, blowing me away…again.

  You simply cannot resist the corny country song lyrics when you’re in Texas. You just can’t. It had to be said.

That’s better.

Girls in white dresses. And bubbles!

Halle Grace is not amused.

My youngest nieces and nephews.

Another fantastic cake (not to mention that super sweet cake topper!) made by my sister-in-law, and Jenn’s mom, Tracy. So pretty!

Sunset over the hill country. Stunning.

Sunday was about family, friends, relaxing, and eating (duh).

I met two of my closest girl friends Kelley and Katie for a classic tex-mex lunch of cheese enchiladas. It was to die for. We sat for three and a half hours. I miss them so much and feel so lucky to have such great friends.

Dinner was sushi with my friend Michelle. We’ve been friends since second grade – 19 years. And I still love her to pieces.

Isn’t it ridiculous that I have pictures of the food, but not of me with these three incredible ladies? Major fail! Next time I’ll have to be much better about this! Perhaps next time should also come sooner rather than later!

Sunday night after I talked for hours upon hours on end with my girlfriends, we had a family bonfire out back of the house. Dad built up a fantastic fire pit, totally enormous with all these great logs to sit on, circled around the fire. We roasted jumbo marshmallows, drank mugs of homemade sangria, cooked up some s’mores for each other, star gazed without all the interference of city lights, and enjoyed our time together – adults and kids alike, about 15 of us. It was heaven. One of those experiences you remember forever.

This trip didn’t feature my usual Texas must-haves – the snow cone stand, or the San Antonio riverwalk at night, the visit to the Alamo, or many of the other things I have grown to love and miss about this part of the country. But this time it had my whole family, which was even better!

And just in case you forgot where we really are…

…there’s always this sign on the door of the restaurant where we celebrated my brother Brent’s retirement from the air force on Monday afternoon to remind you what Texas is all about.

‘Til next time.

God bless Texas.

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On Kittens Needing Mittens, Rays, and Blue Bell

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Welcome to my winter.

Also, I did a workshop at a high school today, and let me just say that my high school did not look like this:

Nor did it have any of these swimming around the hallways:

What a rip off, Boerne.

Officially jipped out of a great aquatic education.

In other news…

Texas (and, uh, Blue Bell Ice Cream) = TOMORROW

I kind of cannot contain my excitement.

Really.

For the record, i’ll be sitting pretty at about 78 degrees in the Lone Star State this weekend, instead of hobbling outside in fleece-lined tights, gloves, and a parka when it’s a cool 23 degrees here.

Temporary life upgrade? I think so.

Happy Thursday friends!

What are you looking forward to this weekend?

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November Lessons: Installment A

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November 4, 2012

Dear Diary,

Today was the first snowfall of the season. Not to be melodramatic, but my life is over.

****

We have, apparently, reached that time of year when I can no longer go to the mall, the grocery store, the post office, or any other place of consumer business because, as of November 3, the wreaths and trees were up, the fake snow was sprinkled, the reindeer were flying from the rafters, the halls were decked, the Christmas music was in full swing ’round these parts, and my Thanksgiving-loving Grinch had heart shrunk two sizes.

Must be time for my annual PSA:

IT’S NOVEMBER. You know, autumn, Thanksgiving, turkeys, cornucopias, leaves, pumpkins, pecans, open fires, family, thankfulness, brown and red and yellow and orange, etc. (i.e. – NOT CHRISTMAS). That goes for you too, snowfall. Back off! I still have 26 more days of – what I hope to be – uninterrupted autumn goodness coming my way, and I do not want it impeded by 2.5 months of premature holiday cheer, so cool your damn jets, you over zealous Christmas fiends.

****

And when the cold weather strikes and is here to stay, I know it’s also about time for my other favorite PSA:

As always, friends…leggings are not pants. Tights are not pants. Micro dresses are not pants. Tunics are not pants. Underwear are not pants.

Only pants are pants.

I’ve even attached a handy-dandy flow chart to help you on your quest in sporting appropriate public attire, for all you pantsless creatures out there (and there are, unfortunately, a good number of you), should you be confused and need a little push in the right direction.

You’re welcome.

****

Friday’s workday consisted of fun-size Snickers and Crunch bars leftover from Halloween, chocolate cake, and two mugs of hot chocolate, while Friday evening was all about ginger seaweed salad, sushi, and a show for my girls’ night with a great new friend.

All Fridays should be so wonderful!

****

This weekend I saw my first show featuring a cast of deaf actors. Opposite of a sign interpreted production, the hearing/speaking actors stood off to the side and vocalized the text, while the deaf/signing actors took to the stage, performed the show, and did all the physical acting while signing the words. The concept was pretty fantastic!

****

I am thankful for fleece-lined tights (which are not pants, but I am aware of this, so I wear them beneath a skirt. If you are confused, please see flow chart above), hand warmers, ear muffs, gloves, hand cream, lip balm, winter coats, and snow boots. They just might save my life this winter. I smell money well-spent in my future.

****

Dark at 5 p.m.? Not a fan. Bring back the sunshine!

****

Texas = 4 days.

BBQ = 4 days

Tex-Mex = 4 days

Family = 4 days

Hill country, cactus, sunsets, and 75 degrees = 4 days

Sancho = 4 days

YES.

BRING IT.

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November: Already a Month of Tricks (But Mostly Treats)

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It’s November.

I’ll give you a second to wrap your brain around that.

….

Insane, right?

In celebration of the what is possibly my second most favorite month of the year, because you simply cannot deny the fabulosity that is the blustery cold autumn-to-winter transition air, pie, flannel or Thanksgiving, I present you with a true November treat:

I’m always up for trying new things. This, surprisingly, wasn’t too bad! I was a little uncertain upon first whiff, but it tastes just like root beer with a smidge of pumpkin pie spice added. Nice for a fall evening at home, curled up under a blanket with a candle burning and a good book close by. Mellow and subtle. Give it a try if you’re feeling festive.

In other November news, I think it might officially be time to break out the gloves, coat and other winter gear. I wore an adorable brown cable-knit sweater skirt with bright red tights and brown boots to work today…and it just didn’t cut it. I was cold walking across that bridge in the wind, gloom, and bone-chilling mist. Adorable but impractical. Looks like I’m in for a long winter of fleece-lined tights, hats, mittens and pea coats. I’ll get used to it….eventually. But, in the meanwhile, I repeat my plea: SEND ME WARM CLOTHES.

Also, I think my wisdom teeth are going to find themselves homeless soon. I’m super bummed about this. I honestly thought I was going to skate through life, right around the braces and root canals and cavities and tonsils and appendix and wisdom teeth….somehow managing to avoid it all, as I have so far. I think my luck is running out. Two nights ago, just before heading onstage for a post-show talkback I suddenly noticed, “Huh, my jaw feels funny. And what’s with this headache?” Woke up the next morning with the same annoying and bothersome, yet not necessarily painful, symptoms. One quick glance on the WWW was all I needed to confirm Ted’s suspicion that a stiff jaw, headaches, a funkily angled back tooth can only mean one thing. I’m praying the pain holds off for the next busy week-and-a-half full of workshops and talkbacks and matinees and Texas vacays (OH, YES…It’s happening!) before I have to get serious about this. Think good thoughts!

And finally, at the beginning of each November, come the first of the month, everybody starts in on “30 days of thankful.” You know, the “Today I am thankful for turkeys” shindig. At the beginning of last year, as a New Years resolution in fact, I made a commitment to write down five things I was thankful for that day, in a journal, every single night before I went to bed. It’s a simple thing. Takes hardly any time at all. But in ten short months, you’d be amazed by the difference it makes. I take far fewer things for granted. Not a day goes by where I don’t recognize the food on my table, the roof over my head, the job I have, or the people I love as tremendous blessings. And somehow, with just that simple daily act of acknowledgement for the things I do have – my good health, a hug from a friend, a funny conversation, a productive day, a tasty dinner – the things that I would have normally caught myself complaining about a year ago, don’t even enter my radar. I have happier days more consistently. My priorities are clearer. I focus less on myself and more on others. I like to think that the act of recognizing the good things in our life and the things that we appreciate doesn’t need to be limited annually, to 30 days in November. If you feel so inclined, I’d like to encourage you all to start something similar. Five things that day that you are thankful for – that’s all. It takes a pen, a notepad, and two minutes. It can be as small and detailed as “the construction workers didn’t wake me up at 6:15 a.m…..they waited until 7 a.m.” or “my new yellow sweater is cozy and makes me smile” or as large and general as “a happy marriage to a loving, supportive spouse” or “a job that I enjoy going to every morning that provides for me and my family.” There’s always something to be thankful for, no matter how hopeless or impossible your situation seems, and while November is a great time to think about that, carrying the tradition through the year is even sweeter.

Happy November, friends!

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Squirrely

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So, squirrels are pretty much my favorite non-domestic creature ever.

It should come as no surprise then that I spent a good 10 minutes in the park yesterday afternoon during lunch watching an adorable, bushy-tailed little guy fish a brown paper bag of half-eaten lunch out of the park’s wooden trash bin, carry it over the safety of a large nearby tree surrounded by a fresh pile of autumn leaves, slither his squirmy little self into the bag, re-emerge with a chunk of cheeseburger, and have himself a noontime feast.

It was love at first sight.

At moments like these all I can think is, “Ted is so lucky I cannot catch a squirrel.”

In honor of the little dude who totally brightened my day, I bring you my favorite squirrel accessory necessity:

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I just publicly admitted to wanting a squirrel mug. I have become that person. It’s only a matter of time until I graduate to the recesses of wearing “holiday sweaters.”

At least it’s a rockin’ squirrel mug.

I’m not ninety quite yet.

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