Monthly Archives: December 2013

After checking out a few excellent Christmas books at my beloved library to enjoy this season (and not all of them for adult readers either!), picking up some delicious stuffed-crust carry out pizza, watching a couple episodes of Parenthood (our new addiction), and playing a few rounds of Wheel of Fortune on the Wii on Friday night, I hunkered down on the rug beneath the twinkling blue and white lights of our Christmas tree, swaddled myself in my favorite cozy blanket with a toasty and relaxing lavender hot wrap around the back of my neck, a plate of cranberry orange bread, and a steaming mug of hot tea nearby, and dug into a Christmastime mystery novel that takes place in a NYC bookshop. As far as chilly Friday nights go, I would call this winning. It’s in these moments of quiet reflection that I look around and remember how thankful I am to live in a home full of love – warm, safe, healthy, and dry – with a roof over my head, food to eat, a job I love, and a family I love even more. Things aren’t always easy, but the abundance of blessings never cease to amaze me.

On Saturday we visited a Christmas festival packed with gorgeous wreaths, freshly-cut trees, glittery ornament making stations, a lights & sound display, model train exhibit, and petting zoo of sweet animals. Ted most appreciated the model trains and I could have pet the alpacas all day. After our fill of free merriment we took off for an outdoor Christmas celebration of more of the same plus a toasty fire, hot drinking chocolate, some business-to-business carolers, and local shop browsing in the South Wedge. It’s always nice to just, simply, enjoy the season together. A hand-in-hand walk in the chilly air bundled in warm coats, the refreshing smell of pine, a free sample of drinking chocolate, an earful of carolers…it doesn’t have to cost much, or anything at all, to enjoy being together this season.

The rest of our evening wasn’t quite as great as we’d hoped when an unexpected surprise came our way, but as always, we found ourselves simply thankful to be safe and healthy and together. To make up for the chaos and frustration of a less than ideal evening, we made some comfort food – chicken pot pies with tall glasses of milk and wine, checked into our pajamas, bundled up in blankets, turned on The Incredibles, and promptly fell asleep in the living room for some much-needed rest.

In the coming weeks we are looking forward to more holiday merriment – enjoying a few drive-in or walk-around light displays, a small handful of Christmas parties with friends and co-workers, calling our families often, some cookie baking and milk drinking, eyeing pretty holiday crafts and ornaments, sending and receiving holiday cards, taking whiffs of fresh pine from trees and wreaths, partaking in joyful Christmas movies and music and books, enjoying the follies of playtime in the snow, peppermints and hot cocoa, roaring fireplace fires, nuts and nutcrackers, church, spreading peace, cheer, and goodwill, and quiet Christmas reflection – a holiday season that doesn’t thrive on commercialism or shopping or crowds or money, but that only requires love and joy and gratitude.

I think this might be a good place to start:

(The Christmas Wish by Lori Evert – available at your local library or independent bookstore – and Christmas in Paris tea by Stash – available on Stash’s website…thanks mom!)

What are you looking forward to the most this holiday season?

Early last week our sweet blue crayfish Ace unexpectedly passed away. She was born in our tank as a teeny tiny, microscopically small and nearly translucent little baby to our first crayfish, Maverick, over a year and a half ago in Cincinnati and, like a champ, both she and Gigi survived the 10-hour move to Rochester (a rare and impressive feat in the cray world). It’s always hard to say goodbye to any pet, big or small. She saw a cool little girl and we’ll definitely miss her, but we are also happy to welcome a new little girl and her six fishy friends (and possibly a few yellow and orange mollies we may be inheriting soon) into our aquarium family.

Meet Cider!

Cider is a 6-9 month old orange clarkii crayfish. And she’s pretty spectacular as far as crayfish go. She’s our first not blue crayfish, so that bright pop of orange in the tank is quite a change and really stands out. She’s very inquisitive, likes to be out in the open, and isn’t much of a hider, which is good because she’s not that great at blending in.

But she is great at several other things, namely eating all.the.time (she was halfway through a large fish at least half her size when we first saw her at the aquarium shop…and she hasn’t slowed down since. We feed her multiple times a day and she’s absolutely mastered the art of begging for food. You thought crayfish didn’t beg? Wrong.) Cider is also an expert at detailed exploration, climbing everything in sight (plants, rocks, the tank walls…), continually relocating gravel in her tank to suit her personal tank decoration style, trying to squeeze into places she doesn’t fit, and quietly sneaking up on and terrorizing the six harlequin rasboras who share her tank. She’s actually very entertaining to watch and we’re so very happy to have her!

Like the proud parent I am, more to come later…

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{thredUp, Gap, Loft, Express, La Salon Bianca, Aerial Arts of Rochester}

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The items above are a few things I’ve had my eyes on for quite some time. If someone asked me for a Christmas List (and, really, only our parents still do), that’s what would be on it. A little of this, a little of that. Wants, but not needs.

It might come as a surprise to some people that we don’t really do Christmas presents anymore. Not for each other, not for our families. We usually send out Christmas cards, and perhaps a tiny thing here or there, and I do love to bake and mail edible treats to family around the holidays, if time and resources allow. But that’s usually about it. And we certainly don’t expect any gifts in return at Christmastime from our own families or friends either.

It’s not a matter of not loving to give or receive presents. We all love gifts – who doesn’t love gifts? We love giving them just as much, if not more, than we love receiving them. But as we get older, we’ve discovered several things:

1. Gifts for everyone are expensive. Ted freelances, so his income is very sporadic and unpredictable. I work at a non-profit theatre, where I love my job but I certainly don’t do it for the money, and we have medical bills to pay. Simply put, we could be thrifty and save all year (and we do), but we still wouldn’t have the money to buy gifts for each other, or everyone else, every year. It’s not a reflection of how much we love or care about our family and friends, it’s not a reflection of our spending or saving habits, and it’s not a reflection of selfishness or generosity. It’s just the way it is.

2. Nobody in our family really needs anything that they could not go out and buy on their own if they really needed, or even wanted, it. We know that’s not the reason to give or not give presents. But, very fortunately, everyone in our family has enough. Us included. All our basic needs are met. Everything else is just an extra, or a want, or something that can wait a while. And while we wish we could indulge those wants for each other and our families and friends, making sure needs are met comes first.

3. On that note, we realize that they are many, many hundreds of thousands of people in this city, in this state, in this country, and all around the world whose needs are not met. Because we are fortune to have what we have and to have what we need (and we know our families and most of our friends do too), we’d rather use the little bit of money we can scrape together during to the holidays to help make sure others needs are met – and so we do that instead. Adopt a family, donations to particular cause or charity, buying a few necessary items for a person we have found out is in need, purchasing food for the soup kitchen, donating our time, gathering physical donations – whatever it is, we’d rather put time and money toward those who need it than spend it shopping or spending where there is not a need. So that’s what we do.

4. It sounds cliché, but for us, it really isn’t about the presents. Christmas is about the spirit of the season. It’s about being together, enjoying what we have, enjoying each other, and enjoying wonderful experiences rather than things. For some of us, it’s really about Christ too. Presents are nice,  and its human nature to want – nothing wrong with that. But, for us, there’s so much more to Christmas than just that.

There’s no right or wrong way to do Christmas. This is the choice that works best for Ted and I, as a family. And there are plenty of other valid choices out there too that work for other families. But this is how we Christmas. Ted’s extended family, for a while when everyone would get together at Christmas, did a gift card exchange where each person purchased one $25 gift card and gift cards were traded around in some fun fashion (Wii game contests, board games, etc.) amongst all who were present – so everyone spent $25 on one gift card and everyone received one gift card – a system I liked as well. I know many families couldn’t imagine a Christmas without a tree full of presents. I know families who don’t do presents at all. I know families who only do presents for children, and others who only do charity donations, and others who only do holiday cards, and still others who spend their money to travel to see one another instead. To each family their own.

Do you have any holiday traditions regarding gifting? What does your family do?