Fresh Starts
As we face what feels like the millionth day of winter (I truly, without exaggeration, think it has snowed a little bit – and sometimes a lot a bit – every single day for the past month straight) and continuous frigid single digit wind chills, I am reminded how full of wonder and peace winter can be sometimes, but also how long and dreadful it is at other times.
Time is an even stranger phenomena these days in the world of winter and a pandemic than it usually is. Today I thought “Wow, I can’t believe its already almost March – spring is practically just around the corner again! (even though it feels like we are very much in the depths of a deep and dark midwinter that just got here).” while, only seconds later, thinking, “How has it only been a month and a half since New Years? It feels like Christmas and New Years were six months ago!” This winter feels everlasting, but also it’s going by too quickly and I haven’t lived it yet in all the ways I aspired to and dreamed of, to really sink into it in the way that winter demands, you know?
That got me thinking of New Years, which seems both like just yesterday and also a time so long ago I can hardly remember it. Both an ending and a beginning. A relief as we wrap up one thing (for better or for worse), then jump immediately into the promise and potential of something fresh and new and entirely unknown. I mean, how many of us would have surmised at the dawn of 12:01am on January 1, 2020 what the year would actually have in store for us as we joyfully cheered and ushered in our big plans and resolutions for this milestone new-decade year that would, undoubtedly, be a memorable one for all the right and exciting reasons we had planned…only to look back at 11:59pm on December 31, 2020 and realize that we all had absolutely no idea what the year had in store for us and not the other way around at all…and we’re much more trepidatious in our celebrations and presumptions and approach to what 2021 will be like.
Nonetheless, we celebrated the retirement of 2020 and the dawning of 2021. We celebrated making it through 2020 alive and relatively unscathed (for which we were extremely lucky and exceedingly grateful), and we celebrated things like health and gratitude and acceptance and wisdom and simplicity and perspective and the love of family and friends – things we’d always appreciated, but never so much as we do now, with a clearer understanding of how much they mean and matter. And we celebrated, with hope, that 2021 had arrived and, with her, a different sense of “plans” or “ideas” about what the year would hold – and what sorts of things we actually wish for and vow to pursue in the new year, which was a far cry from the resolutions and dreams of past years that seemed so bold and lofty and frivolous.
Instead we used New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day to take stock – to acknowledge, to appreciate, and prepare our hearts, minds, and spirits for whatever was on the horizon. There was no wild party, dressing up, hugs from friends, or kisses from family, but there was still plenty of fun and joy, but also peace, acceptance, a shift in perspective, and hope.
Here’s how we celebrated:
Looking back on these pictures, it’s hard to reconcile how this was so long ago and just six weeks ago all at the same time. But, in many ways, I feel like this year’s celebration was more appropriate, special, and memorable than many others, and ultimately, what I feel is gratitude for this season of our life – as odd, harrowing, and unusual as it’s been. It’s not always easy to accept a gift that you didn’t expect and don’t understand with grace, but I feel like we learned a lot this year and we’re better for it.