Blog

When I last spoke of all the glorious Ohio summery things I was looking forward to, I apparently neglected to mention, or even realize, something I was not going to be anxiously awaiting the imminent arrival of. Bugs. Loudly-buzzing, rapidly-flying, ceiling-crawling, fang-bearing, blood-sucking, fright-inducing, biting-and-stinging, death-defying bugs. Much like the one that I found IN MY PANTS last night.

I know.

Yesterday afternoon I was being a good homeowner and responsible citizen and attempting to pull our wheeled toter trashcan up the driveway and to the curb. Attempting. Upon opening the garage door and spotting three of the biggest, roundest, fattest, flying bugs I have ever seen in my near vicinity (they were looking especially hungry, might I add), I quickly retreated back inside and decided that that one little old measly bag of trash didn’t really need to make it to the curb. I tried two more times within the next hour-and-a-half or so but, alas, they were out to get me. Long story short, I waited until dusk when I thought they had hunkered down for the night and toted the trash to the curb just as Ted pulled in the driveway, home early (yay!).

I started to explain these strange, gigantic creatures to him, claiming that they clearly must be some venomous freak-of-nature, native only to Cincinnati, and how I had no idea what they could possibly be because I, for one, had never seen such a fat bug. At that moment the creature in question (let’s just call him Beluga) appeared. Ted informed me that Beluga was….a honey bee. A bee. That’s it. Just a simple honey bee and not a mutant beast. For real, friends, I have never seen such an enormous bee in my life. Texas bees are like ants compared to these suckers. What kind of messed-up honey are they tanking up on up here? Anyhow my husband and hero, the bee-killer, set to work on Beluga & Company with a fly swatter. I know. I was hiding in the garage and he’s out there stirring up trouble with a pack of bees that could devour him in one sitting with a flimsy little fly swatter. But the man has a sense of adventure (or maybe no sense at all) and good aim. Two down. Liquid killer spray for the nest is on the grocery list.

Anyway, back to the real reason you’ve continued to read this far – the bug in my pants. Right. So I was minding my own business, standing in our bedroom folding the laundry I’d just taken out of the dryer, still thinking about the ferociousness of those darn honey bees. I reached into the basket, pulled out my black pair of pants and gave them a good shake before I started to fold them. Out pops a wasp, who bounces off my arm and lands like 3″ away from me on the pillow. GAME OVER. I leaped from the room in one mighty bound and charged downstairs to the basement to retrieve the fly swatter, leaving Ted to clamor into the bedroom and babysit the beast until the fly swatter arrived. The little devil must have come in through the dryer vent, survived the 40-minute carnival ride, made himself at home in my pants, and then decided to come out for a breath of fresh air. I gingerly, and with major trepidation, folded the rest of the laundry. I’m just relieved Ted came home unexpectedly early last night, or else I’d have had to deal with it myself spend the evening in the car. Is nothing safe anymore!? Stay out of our dryer vent!!! Following all these shenanigans, I also spotted a giant black ant traipsing across our kitchen ceiling last night. Excellent. 3 bugs in one day. That is definitely my limit.

So, here’s what I’m not looking forward to for the next six months – bugs in our house. Bugs outside of our house. Bugs in our laundry. Bugs in our yard. Bugs anywhere near me. Thanks, house, for your clear lack of sealing or insulation, thus thwarting your ability to keep the critters out. We need a cat. And thank you also to my husband, the bug killer, who will apparently be busy for the next 180 days swatting insects (since he won’t allow a bug-catching cutie by the name of Sancho to come live with us…). Don’t feel too bad for him though, I pay in good home cooking, pie and cuddles. Ted, not Sancho. Sancho is paid in turkey baby food.

Okay, onto BAM.

So last Friday night CCM at UC held their annual moving lights show called BAMMMMM (apparently the more M’s the better, I’ve been told, since it doesn’t actually stand for anything that we know of and everyone tacks on as many M’s as they please). The show is regionally, if not nationally, known and recognized. Moving light companies and rental houses donate a few dozen, several-thousand dollar moving lights to the lighting students at CCM for a week to do a major class project for their Automated Lighting class that results in a show. Essentially each student in the class selected two songs of their choosing, one fast and one slow, and using the moving lights, choreographed and programed a lighting show to the music. It’s pretty awesome! To see all the wild things these lights can do is truly incredible – they can make any shape, design, pattern, or color. They can be narrow and wide and swivel to any angle. It was like a little rock concert, only it focused on awesome technology with the music as the background, instead of the other way around. To program a 5-minute songs takes about 7 hours. I had three definite favorites that really stood out to me. My favorite piece was designed and programed by a student who started off in the program as a dancer then changed her specialization to become a lighting student. The movement of the lights fit the music so perfectly most likely because, as a dancer, she is keenly aware of the timing between movement and music.

Anyhow, there are many, many videos of BAMM moving lights shows on Youtube (search “CCM BAMM”) from 2007-2010 that past CCM students have posted to share their projects, but here are snippets of three songs from the 2010 production, just so you can get a feel for the crazy amount of work that goes into designing and programing with automated technology, all the incredible things these moving lights can do, and how much they can enhance a theatre or dance production. (P.S. – on the middle video, you’ll have to click on it to watch it directly from the YouTube website).

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhhYAG6WTTg&feature=related]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujS59jA6U4c&feature=related]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2Dthd-aNko&feature=related]