“He’s having a stroke?”
“What!?”
“OF GENIUS!”
Name the movie! Anyone? The Producers. It’s from the song Keep it Gay, which is mildly un-PC, but hilarious nonetheless. It takes a jab at the bright, blingy opulence of recent showbiz spectacles on Broadway – think Thoroughly Modern Millie, Drowsy Chaperone, 42nd Street, etc. – by jazzing up WWII with a happy ending, dancing storm troopers and plenty of sparkly sequins in a fantastical melodramatic dream called Springtime of Hilter. As a theatre person, I can definitely appreciate this sentiment, and I have to admit that when it comes to some musicals, the more bedazzled and whimsical, the better. After all (as the song says) “people want laughter when they see a show, the last thing they’re after is a litany of woe.” Save the tears, drama and insightful brooding for the straight plays, where that content is more appropriate and appreciated. When I see a musical I want to be whisked away to the the magical land of ThisCouldNeverHappen where I can put my brain on mute and gaze adoringly at shiny things. With the exception of the title, this has nothing to do with the post, so let’s get on with it, shall we?
Since our new dishwasher is still on backorder, our landlord opted to send out a repair man to diagnose the problem with the current hunk-o’-junk to see if it would be more cost effective to repair or replace it. Mr. Maintenance Man showed up at 9:20 a.m. (um, good thing I decided to get dressed in a timely manner this morning instead of lollygagging around in my red velour footsie pajamas until 11 a.m. – stroke of genius #1) and he had reached a verdict by 9:25. Turns out the little holes on the arm of the washer that the water shoots out of are clogged. Clogged how, you may ask? Plastic candy wrappers. Dear Previous Tenants: In addition to gluing Batman and Disney Princess stickers to the upstairs windows, staining every square inch of carpet with koolaide, and allowing your mini-beasts to decorate the banister with crayons, I can think of no better way to break the dishwasher than to melt plastic candy wrappers in it. A creative way to dispose of candy wrappers and the most original method of breaking an appliance qualifies this one for the stroke of genius (or idiocy if you prefer) #2 award.
The topic of creativity brings us to stroke of genius #3 – dinner! In today’s slow cooker & trying something new experiment I am cooking pulled pork for BBQ pulled pork sandwiches for Ted and Carnitas (pulled pork in corn tortillas topped with fresh red onion, cilantro, tomato, avocado slices, lime juice and sea salt) for me. The stroke of genius surprise ingredient? Root Beer. Yep, marinated in root beer (or for us diabetic conscious folk – diet root beer). It smells delicious and (so far) it is literally as easy as rubbing a pork tenderloin with garlic salt and black pepper, plopping it in the slow cooker with a cup of soda and a handful of chopped onions and turning the dial to “low.” Genius! We’ll pair it with our new board game set from mom and dad, some strawberry daiquiris, and a movie – and voila, a relaxing Friday night – perfect since Ted still isn’t feeling well. Last night I made Chinese Takeout Lemon Chicken & steamed white Jasmine rice using a box of sugar free lemon jello. Ted wolfed it down in a mad fury. Needless to say the lemon jello recipe happily exceeded my expectations. Using jello for something other than its intended purpose (and not destroying the dishwasher in the process)? Say it with me….genius! That’s #4 if you’re counting.
And finally #5, which admittedly is not my personal stroke of genius, but is still a truly genius idea that I plucked off an old college friend’s blog and hope we can implement, is the Date Night Jar. If you’re anything like Ted & I, deciding where to eat for dinner, what to do tonight, which place to go or thing to see, and which movie to watch can be a giant pain in the ass because neither of us want to make a decision (and risk making the wrong decision) when we’re tired and want nothing more than to partake in mindless fun instead of having this conversation:
A: Where do you want to eat tonight?
B: I don’t care. Anywhere is fine.
A: You pick.
B: No, you choose. I picked last time.
A: I don’t want to make a decision.
B: Well, I don’t either. I could eat anything and be fine.
A: Skyline Chili?
B: Ehhh…
A: You said anywhere would be fine!
B: I know, but…
A: Okay, how about Don Pablo’s or Montgomery Inn?
B: Either one. Which one do you have a taste for?
A: I don’t care. I’m just hungry.
B: Well, which one is cheaper? Or closer to where we are now?
A: OMG!!!! Make a freaking decision already!
B: We can see a movie afterward too.
A: Which one?
B: Uh….
Sound familiar? Enter the Date Night Jar. You each scribble down names of restaurants you like or have never tried, meals & drinks to cook, board or video game titles, movie titles, and activities (hiking in the park, going to a play, exploring downtown, bowling, make a donation basket for the homeless shelter, etc.) – from mild to wild the more creative the adventure the better – and when you’re at a loss for what to do one evening or simply don’t feel like thinking (it happens – we’re both good at being decisive in our professional careers, but when it comes to down time at home – zip), you pull a strip of paper out of the jar and that’s what you do! Instant creativity and stroke of genius #5.
I hope any one of these strokes of genius (except maybe a bucket list of previously uncharted methods of destroying your kitchen appliances) leaves you inspired today. Enjoy your Friday!
