Author: Lara

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{thredUp, Gap, Loft, Express, La Salon Bianca, Aerial Arts of Rochester}

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The items above are a few things I’ve had my eyes on for quite some time. If someone asked me for a Christmas List (and, really, only our parents still do), that’s what would be on it. A little of this, a little of that. Wants, but not needs.

It might come as a surprise to some people that we don’t really do Christmas presents anymore. Not for each other, not for our families. We usually send out Christmas cards, and perhaps a tiny thing here or there, and I do love to bake and mail edible treats to family around the holidays, if time and resources allow. But that’s usually about it. And we certainly don’t expect any gifts in return at Christmastime from our own families or friends either.

It’s not a matter of not loving to give or receive presents. We all love gifts – who doesn’t love gifts? We love giving them just as much, if not more, than we love receiving them. But as we get older, we’ve discovered several things:

1. Gifts for everyone are expensive. Ted freelances, so his income is very sporadic and unpredictable. I work at a non-profit theatre, where I love my job but I certainly don’t do it for the money, and we have medical bills to pay. Simply put, we could be thrifty and save all year (and we do), but we still wouldn’t have the money to buy gifts for each other, or everyone else, every year. It’s not a reflection of how much we love or care about our family and friends, it’s not a reflection of our spending or saving habits, and it’s not a reflection of selfishness or generosity. It’s just the way it is.

2. Nobody in our family really needs anything that they could not go out and buy on their own if they really needed, or even wanted, it. We know that’s not the reason to give or not give presents. But, very fortunately, everyone in our family has enough. Us included. All our basic needs are met. Everything else is just an extra, or a want, or something that can wait a while. And while we wish we could indulge those wants for each other and our families and friends, making sure needs are met comes first.

3. On that note, we realize that they are many, many hundreds of thousands of people in this city, in this state, in this country, and all around the world whose needs are not met. Because we are fortune to have what we have and to have what we need (and we know our families and most of our friends do too), we’d rather use the little bit of money we can scrape together during to the holidays to help make sure others needs are met – and so we do that instead. Adopt a family, donations to particular cause or charity, buying a few necessary items for a person we have found out is in need, purchasing food for the soup kitchen, donating our time, gathering physical donations – whatever it is, we’d rather put time and money toward those who need it than spend it shopping or spending where there is not a need. So that’s what we do.

4. It sounds cliché, but for us, it really isn’t about the presents. Christmas is about the spirit of the season. It’s about being together, enjoying what we have, enjoying each other, and enjoying wonderful experiences rather than things. For some of us, it’s really about Christ too. Presents are nice,  and its human nature to want – nothing wrong with that. But, for us, there’s so much more to Christmas than just that.

There’s no right or wrong way to do Christmas. This is the choice that works best for Ted and I, as a family. And there are plenty of other valid choices out there too that work for other families. But this is how we Christmas. Ted’s extended family, for a while when everyone would get together at Christmas, did a gift card exchange where each person purchased one $25 gift card and gift cards were traded around in some fun fashion (Wii game contests, board games, etc.) amongst all who were present – so everyone spent $25 on one gift card and everyone received one gift card – a system I liked as well. I know many families couldn’t imagine a Christmas without a tree full of presents. I know families who don’t do presents at all. I know families who only do presents for children, and others who only do charity donations, and others who only do holiday cards, and still others who spend their money to travel to see one another instead. To each family their own.

Do you have any holiday traditions regarding gifting? What does your family do?

This weekend brought us, what I’ll consider, our first real snowfall of the season. We had some snow last week too, but it didn’t really stick. It snowed most of the day on Saturday, temperatures plummeted to the teens with wind chills in the single digits, and we actually had to finally turn on the heat in the house, use a snow brush and ice scraper on the car, buy a new tall-truck-friendly extendable snow brush for Ted’s truck, and tread cautiously on sidewalks and pavement because of ice. I also had to officially pull out my snow boots, knee-length down feather winter coat, gloves, hats, earmuffs, thermal under layers, and my footed pajamas (don’t hate – they’re amaaazing). It’s also the time I year I start considering a car wash membership so we can prevent rust on our vehicles with all the salt from the roads they’ll be kicking up for the next 4 months. I try to hold off on all this hoopla as long as possible by living in denial that winter could actually be here again already, but alas – it’s apparently time to put away the peep toe wedges, dig out the holiday teas, and face the fact that fall is over.

There are a few trees left in Rochester that still have beautiful, brilliant red, yellow and orange leaves on them. They’re stunning against the white snow. A gorgeous sight to behold. While fall falls away, I’ll hold on a little longer by playing catch-up and sharing a few posts containing the last of our fall adventures this week.

The first weekend in November Ted and I decided to take a quick, surprise trip to visit family in the Cleveland area. Cleveland is only about 4 or 5 hours west of Rochester, so it was a completely random, manageable, and fun trip. We left early Friday afternoon, drove in some pretty substantial and wild winds (ah, lake effect) to Erie, Pennsylvania – halfway between Rochester and Cleveland – where we met up with Ted’s cousin’s daughter Michaela, who is in college at Mercyhurst. We carpooled with her the rest of the way to Cleveland where we enjoyed some good old-fashioned high school eats at the local Dairy Queen and then surprised Michaela’s mom, dad, and two brothers Marcus and Martin by showing up at Marcus’ last football game of his high school career (he’s a senior). It was a perfect, chilly fall evening and we had a blast sitting on the bleachers, bundled in sweatshirts and blankets, watching Marcus play some Friday night football, and catching up with Ted’s uncle, all the cousins, and their kids. And the game had a wonderfully exhilarating ending with a, literally, edge-of-your-seat last second win for Marcus and his team. Oh, and the celebrating that followed! It was so nice just to be out of the field after the game to surprise Marcus, and with all those kids – so many of them seniors – enjoying an important and thrilling moment in their high school lives – their youth, excitement, freshness, and love of life was just totally palpable. It was such a beautiful reminder of all of the fun of my own high school years and high school friends.

The next day, which wasn’t nearly as beautiful as it was freezing cold, windy, and pouring rain, we stood outside by the bleachers, cloaked in as many layers as possible beneath massive umbrellas for three hours, watching Martin’s last football game of the season. Martin’s team also pulled off a win – though they had a pretty nice lead all along. Unfortunately, the awful weather dampened some of the celebrating and excitement of their win. Overall, we were really glad we could spend a few hours with everyone and catch both of the boys last games of the season. It was totally worth the trip! Thanks for putting us up for the night guys! :)

We stopped at a little hole-in-the-wall Chinese restaurant, where I had the best hot and sour soup of my entire life, before the drive back home. The soup was so good that I actually ordered more to take back home with us to Rochester. It was so good that the guy made each bowl fresh on the stove, not pulled from a stock pot. And it had delicious meat in it, which is pretty rare in a hot and sour soup. I’ve been dreaming about this soup for the past three weeks, guys. It was that  good and I’m pretty sure we’ll be making a special trip there every time we find ourselves in Cleveland. The drive back, though rainy, was beautiful as well because all the fall leaves were totally brilliant – pretty much right at peak, so poor Ted got to listen to “look at tree!” the whole way back home. The hazards of being married to someone who loves fall as much as I do, I suppose.

At home we finally carved up our pumpkin (using autumn-shaped cookie cutters – leaves, acorns, apples, pumpkins, etc.) and I roasted a batch of pumpkin seeds (salted caramel pumpkin pie flavored! so good!) and enjoyed it with some fresh apple cider. Such a great ending to such a great weekend!

Ted had his 5th knee surgery early yesterday morning. It was an outpatient operation, so he’s doing well and recovering nicely, but he’ll be on crutches and unable to drive for about a week. Truth be told, he’d actually really been looking forward to this surgery for the past month so the pain would finally go away (after these next few days of relative immobility and soreness at least), and he could start healing and get back to the life-as-usual activities he’s had to limit lately. Ted’s an old pro at surgeries by now. I’m still pretty antsy about them. It’s never fun to see your loved one hooked up to IVs and being wheeled away from you down a long hospital hallway when there’s nothing you can do but sit and wait – even when it’s a short, low-risk surgery and you know he’s in great hands. Still not easy. Of course, he did great. He’s a total champ, keeps all the doctors and nurses laughing, and looks super stylin’ in that handsome blue and red hospital-issued dressing gown and scratchy gray and white anti-slip socks.

Despite waking up at 4:45 in the morning to be at the surgical center by 5:45 for his 7:30 surgery, he was awake by 8:20 and we were out of there by 9:30. After checking out of the surgical center, we enjoyed our post-surgery tradition (it’s pretty sad that we have a post-surgery tradition, isn’t it?) of a huge, celebratory breakfast at ihop. The docs warned him that he’d probably be too nauseous from the anesthesia to want food. They obviously don’t know Ted. He clearly wanted to eat – pancakes, french toast, bacon, sausage, hash browns, eggs, english muffins – all of it. I guess that’s what happens when you tell a diabetic he can’t eat or drink for 10 hours. Anyway, breakfast was great and relaxing – just what we needed.

It was cold and blustery out all day yesterday and I’d taken a med-leave day off from the theatre to play nurse, so after breakfast we headed home to recover. Ted got comfortable on the couch. We propped up his leg, bundled up in blankets, wore our pajamas all day (um, even to surgery and ihop. No shame.), watched movies, and we each took a nap. Around 3 p.m. I made a huge pot of my mom’s amazing homemade Mexican chicken tortilla soup garnished with cilantro, freshly shredded cheese, tortilla chip strips, lime, and avocado, which is out-of-this-world delicious, reminds me of Texas, and totally hit the spot on a day like this (plus, plenty of leftovers for this week…yesss!), and then after making sure Ted was settled in on the couch and had everything he needed, I took a bubble bath and read some of my book. He also had three assigned recovery exercises he has to do ten times every hour he is awake, so we stayed on top of that too. And then we commenced more of the same. All in all, it was pretty easy yesterday while his knee was still numb, but the numbness starting wearing off last night before bed and we both know he’ll be much more sore today before he starts feeling better.

I know it sounds like it was pretty relaxing day (and in some ways, it really was), but between the very early morning, the emotional stress of surgery, the care-taking, and the running around trying to find waterproof bandage tape for showering, etc. I think we were both absolutely beat yesterday and today. It was a huge struggle to pry myself out of bed this morning and I’m still completely exhausted. And that’s just me, the one who didn’t have surgery. Needless to say, we plan on taking it easy for the rest of the week. We’ll start taking short walks on our street or around the grocery store at night after I get home from work to keep his leg moving, but otherwise, I see lots of lounging, movies, Wii games, board games, and early bedtimes in our future. Surgery and winter weather sure do go hand-in-hand, don’t they?

…I was a kissing hissing booth.

You’re welcome.

For our actual 3 year anniversary, while my parents were in town visiting, we all celebrated together with a totally amazing dinner at Rooney’s and the Mt. Hope Cemetery Grand Torch Light Tour (if you missed it, click here).

For our “just the two of us” 3 year anniversary celebration, we downed tacos and quesadillas at a Mexican restaurant and then went to the circus…like adults.

Obviously, it was nothing short of magical. The pictures don’t do it justice.

You know how they call themselves the “Greatest Show on Earth”? Well, they kind of are a really great show. We had a blast! Lots of great costumes, eye-catching effects, amazing acrobatics tricks, and unbelievably daring feats. And, of course, the animals are fantastic and much better at tricks than most people I know. It’s entertaining, it’s awe-inspiring, it’s exciting, it’s fun, it’s surprising, and they sell $16 snow cones, $11 cotton candy, and $8 popcorn – all made of gold!

Then you think about it and realize they have a live band accompanying every show, a cast of 100 performers (literally), a crew of probably close to the same number for all the technical stuff, animal care, and human safety, a bazillion costumes that need daily cleaning and repairing, a massive quantity of scenic, lighting, sound, and safety equipment that needs constant maintenance, what I can only assume is an utterly astronomical insurance policy, an entire privately owned railroad system to get around the country, and about 50 wild animals that need lots of meat, grooming, shelter, medicine, etc. And suddenly the $16 snow cone doesn’t seem so ludicrous. I cannot even fathom how they could break even financially each performance, even if they luck out and get a full house. Just take a minute and think about all those logistics. It’s mind-blowing.

Of course, I went wild over the elephants, horses, farm animals, and big cats. Those cats! WOW.

And can I just say that after seven years, my cat Sancho still doesn’t respond to his name or come when he’s called, and I just watched like ten lions and tigers sit patiently on little stools, jump on command, and work together to form complex shapes like synchronized swimmers. Totally astounding. Sancho, you’ve got some catching up to do, buddy.

So, really, if you get a chance, it would be well worth your while to release your inner kid and spend your next date night at the circus!