I have another treat in store for you today! My, you’ve been lucky lately! No need to thank me, though I think you just might after meeting my fabulous friend and co-worker Sara and reading about all the awkward hilarity that is her life. Awkwardness follows her everywhere. It’s a talent. We bonded over our mutual obsession of Kate & William’s royal wedding shindig, blogging for the sake of sharing awkwardness and hilarity with the masses, and the extreme misery of dealing with some of the most obnoxious human beings God has ever put on his green earth. It’s amazing. So, without further ado, the lovely and talented Sara!
Hello All!
When Lara asked me to write a post I, of course, being the type of person who loves to share my awkward life stories with as many people as possible, said yes. Hey, if my pain can bring you a little joy in this world then why the hell not? Unfortunately, I had no idea what to write about. I have my own blog, which is currently on hiatus due to immense writers block. I blame this on the fact that I am currently applying to grad school, a process that will steal your soul. Case in point: I almost had a coronary when I couldn’t figure out how to create an account for the application process. Fun Fact: I already had an account. Anyway, back to my conundrum about what to write. I have a very ridiculous life so I figured I could just write about that.
For instance, I just returned from the house of a very dear friend with whom I baked obscene party treats for a friend’s Bachelorette party this weekend. That’s right, I am currently in the perpetual bridesmaid stage of my life, which is fitting since I will be 23 in a month and live in a rural area. Surprisingly, I did not have even one wedding to attend to this past summer. However, I have four weddings this fall. FOUR! I am a bridesmaid in two of them, which is awesome of course. I love and adore all the people getting married, as well as their prospective spouses. However, I’m thinking that if I have to spend hundreds of dollars buying dresses, shoes, getting my hair did, and purchasing bridal shower gifts, bachelorette gifts and wedding gifts, I should at least get to come over and use that fancy quesadilla maker I bought you (I do so love quesadillas).
And I haven’t even mentioned the travel involved yet! This wedding season I have already been to New Orleans for a bachelorette trip, and I will be going to Louisville, KY (a city I swore I’d never visit being an ardent UK fan and alum), Nashville, TN (I’m quite looking forward to this one) and Paducah, KY (I plan on getting drunk and going to the World Quilt Museum, which I’ve heard is a fun time).
But before I sign off I figured I could leave you with an awkward story, since that is what my hiatus’d blog is about. So, here’s one for the ages – my run in with a New Orleans horse cop on Bourbon Street.
I absolutely adored the city of New Orleans. It’s dirty, decrepitly southern, and the whole town seems drunk. I want to move there ASAP. By the way, alligator is delicious. When we were there on the first night of our trip we went to Bourbon Street, where the following exchange happened.
(Drunk me, FABULOUS bachelorette and soberish-friend that is smarter than all of us are stumbling down Bourbon Street, along with Mr. Handsy McBlue-Stater. There are two cops on horses in the middle of the street.)
Me: Hold my drink!
FABULOUS Bachelorette: HORSE!!!!!!
Sober-ish Friend: Leave the po-po alone!
Me: (to Annoyed Horse Cop) CAN I PET YOUR HORSE!?
Annoyed Horse Cop: No, he doesn’t like to be pet.
Me: (Already petting horse on the nose while holding a drink in the other hand) It’s okay, I’m from Kentucky.
Annoyed Horse Cop: Oh. Okay then.
I then proceeded to talk to the horse for the next ten minutes about how I wished I had a sugar cube or carrot for it, but alas there didn’t seem to be any on Bourbon Street. Apparently, being from Kentucky has convinced me, as well as the rest of the world, that I have innate horse skills – despite the fact that I’ve only ridden on a horse twice in my life. However, I love my state and will continue to try to convince Lara that she should stop looking for houses in Ohio and come over to Kentucky where everything is better. So, I leave with the hope that you have enjoyed this tangent blog post. Next time you’re at a wedding look for the bridesmaid in the pink dress hanging out at the bar. Come on over and I’ll tell you a story!
– Sara
