Harking Back to Halloween

The world these days is a weary place. If you’re intent on approaching life with a sense of curiosity and wonder, and finding the good things to breathe in and appreciate, they’re almost always there, and they’re usually simple, abundant, and don’t cost too much either: nature, wildlife, weather, scenic views, stories, games, jokes, books, movies, companionship, conversations, warm beverages, a hot meal, pleasant aromas, a bonfire, pets to snuggle, cozy blankets, comfy pajamas, pictures and memories, a short walk, etc.

But then there’s (especially lately) political and social unrest, a country divided, countless people suffering unspeakable injustice and poverty, a new strain of a virus even more contagious than what we’ve previously known and been experiencing for almost a year now, and a hundred other devastating, terrifying, and extremely valid concerns that I don’t have the time, mental or emotional energy, or frankly desire to tackle here. As much as one can choose to focus on the good, reality is…well, real…and you can’t always push it to the side and pretend it isn’t happening. The best we can do is aim for perspective and a healthy balance of the two.

And maybe that’s why I leaned so heavily into Halloween this year – a holiday that always brings me so much simple and uncomplicated joy. And maybe that’s why – on the eve of an Inauguration that I am eagerly and excitedly awaiting for the hope and opportunity it brings, but am also very much dreading for the inexcusable unrest and violence that it is sure to accompany it; on the eve of yet again wondering if our double-layered and filter included face masks are actually adequately protective or if I should try ordering something more akin to medical-grade masks, or switch to ordering groceries online for curbside pickup, or just continue bi-weekly grocery runs as quickly as possible and with as much distance as possible as we patiently await vaccines we won’t likely get for another 6+ months at least – I find myself revisiting photos of simple, happy, uncomplicated moments from this past year (like Halloween)…as a way of preparing, as a way of coping, as a way of remembering what is good in the world instead of fixating on what is looming…on what that may or may not be okay, but only time will tell.

So, while it’s on my mind, providing some distraction and some comfort – a silly reminder of the good life outside of what concerns us – I thought I’d share our 2020 Halloween, perhaps as a welcome break for you as well. A Halloween I wasn’t even sure we’d be able to safely pull off, but with a little creativity and a real desire to make it happen, did. A Halloween that allowed me to live for a night as my favorite weirdo Disney princess – a slinky animal whose world is wholly concerned with sneakily acquiring eggs and unbridled curiosity, and NOT coronavirus or politics. A Halloween that felt more nostalgic and childlike, and full of spooky wonder and joyful connection with our neighbors than any other Halloween in recent years. Today this memory gives me a much needed reprieve from “the real world.” And that is worthy of breathing in and appreciating.

Let’s start with the costume! Ever since moving to a upstate New York from a childhood spent growing up in Texas, where I never had to worry the potential for snow, extreme cold, wind, or even rain on Halloween night, I now keep to a very specific set of criteria for all of my Halloween costumes: homemade (not store-bought), warm and comfortable (usually this means constructed from sweats), weather-resistant (wind, rain, snow, etc. without having to cover up my great costume with a boring coat), built from clothing capable of being incorporated back into my normal wardrobe post-Halloween (so I’m only purchasing base-layer items that I like and will actually wear again), and unique or original ideas that are truly “me.” The past several years, for example, I have been a lobster, a jellyfish (complete with light-up umbrella!), a cactus, and a hissing booth (hissing – as in cat – a play on the old fashioned 5 cent kissing booth). This year, I finally brought to fruition my brainchild of 7 months of anticipation and planning – Joanna the Goanna from the 1990 Disney classic, “The Rescuers Down Under.” If you need a quick refresher of her greatest hits, you can check them out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_i9n1_NpnY

Although the nails were beyond amazing for bringing together the iconic Joanna look, they were also atrocious to function in, but it was well worth it because this costume was clearly perfection, met all of my Halloween-in-cold-climate-for-adults requirements, and brought me and every child of the 80s/90s that I know pure, unadulterated nostalgia, laughter, and delight. I was warm and cozy all night, and the whole thing just weird and wicked enough to satisfy my theatrical side.

Now, the food. Themed food is clearly very important to Halloween enthusiasts. I had a hundred excellent ideas all lined up and just waiting to be executed, but I ultimately decided to save most of them for another year when a contagious virus isn’t ravaging the world and the treats and eats can be shared more freely with family and friends (next year, friends!). But I did bake and decorate over 100 cookies from scratch, along with a sweet & salty Halloween popcorn-candy concoction, monster donuts with glow-in-the-dark fangs, special trick-or-treat baggies for a few super special kids of friends who I knew would be stopping by to trick-or-treat, and – obviously – the necessary and quintessential Halloween night menu of stuffed crust pizza, cheesy garlic bread, and hot mulled cider with plenty of strong bourbon to keep the chill away for multiple hours outside in the dark.

The setup: It was really important to us to provide a safe and healthy way for families to trick-or-treat, have some fun in an otherwise strange and difficult year, and to keep ourselves safe too. To that end, we obviously wore our face masks, had hand sanitizer at convenient disposal, and kept our distance. We set up a physical barrier around our section of the driveway where we were hanging out for the night so distance measures were fully enforced. For candy giving, we strung over 100 bags of candy (and toy bags for kiddos with food allergies) to yard twine with clothes pins so kids could have a no-contact method of trick-or-treating by choosing their own bag to pick off the line. All of that was fun and worked really well! For entertainment we had a small fire pit in the driveway with a roaring fire to keep us warm and toasty all night long, set up lot of fun stage and house lighting to enhance the mood and atmosphere, and we pulled out our projector, projector screen, and sound system and played classic Halloween episodes of Garfield, Charlie Brown, and Scooby Doo on the garage from sunset until about 9:30pm so families could stand or sit at the end of the driveway and watch some Halloween movies for a little break from trick-or-treating.

Our neighbors really seemed to enjoy both the entertainment and the safe setup, and we really enjoyed one shining, perfect night (a Saturday night, full moon, and with daylight savings the next day – what an absolute Halloween trifecta!) that felt like a totally “normal” holiday during a year where everything was decidedly far from normal.

I hope you, too, have had moments of delight this year in your own way and fond memories to look back on when the world seems like too much.

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Christmas in Tuscany

When you’ve neglected your dear blog for six long months, the only way to come crawling back to your loyal readership is with the sincerest of apologies and a darn good post to make up for it. And so, I present “Christmas in Tuscany: A slideshow”. Obviously, it was terrible. I definitely wouldn’t recommend it. Especially not the olives. Or pastries. Or cheese. Or wine. Or wild boar salami. Or gelato. Or the Tuscan countryside. Or the art. Or the architecture. Nope, nothing magical here. I’m sure you’ll agree, but I’ll let you draw your own conclusions. Just in case. Anyway, turn on your speakers, hit play, and expand to full screen view using the button on the bottom right of the video frame to check out all the reasons why you should absolutely never visit Italy, ever:

For real though, while I could probably do without the adventure of driving on the world’s most narrow, sharp, and winding roads (in pitch darkness, while coated in a persistent blanket of thick fog, with an overlay of terror and nausea, and a Renault Twizy going 3x the speed limit 2 feet behind you before finally deciding to pass illegally on the narrowest of one-lane roads with a steep cliff just inches to the right), those hairpin curves snaking up and down the hills and valleys of central Tuscany did lead to some pretty stunning sights.

Our villa was in Strada in Chianti (see it here), and we visited Florence, Lucca, Pisa, Arezzo, Monteriggioni, Siena, Greve in Chianti, and Milan.

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Dubai: Take Two

There are worse places to spend a week in February (especially when it’s -25º degrees in New York).

{Day 1: Dubai Miracle Garden, Dubai Mall fountain show and Wafi Gourmet}

{Day 2: Camel meat and mango camel milk milkshake at The Local House, Bastakiya historic district, Dubai Museum}

{Day 3: Fenyaal Cafe at Al Qasba, Sharjah Classic Car Museum, Camel trekking in Ajman, Traditional Bedouin Camp}

{Day 4: Abra across Dubai Creek, Spice souk, Atlantis on Palm Island}

{Day 5: 24k gold cappuccino at Emirates Palace in Abu Dhabi, Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque in Abu Dhabi}

{Day 6: Sharjah National Park, Sharjah Festival of Lights, Nightcap at Crowne Plaza Hotel overlooking the Dubai Creek}

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2014 Recapped

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January 2014

January

{1. Wisdom teeth out, 2. Lots of snow}

February 2014

February

{1. Book club love, 2. Lemon lavender cupcakes for Shawnda’s surprise birthday party, a pajama party girls night}

March 2014

March

{1. Book club meeting Eowyn Ivy – author of “The Snow Child” 2. Ted places in the Cintas & Carhartt Cold Crew contest, 3. Recording communal songs and stories for Geva’s world premiere of “Informed Consent”}

April 2014

April

{1. Giving away free books for World Book Night, 2. Easter, 3. First drive-in movie and baseball game of the season, 4. Rochester Museum and Science Center’s Carnival of Curiosity with Ted and Shawnda}

May 2014

May

{1. Big scary decisions were pondered and pondered and pondered and finally made, 2. Highland Park in bloom, 3. Hidden Valley animal wildlife safari, 4. No picture, but we finally got all our legal and estate planning documents like wills, health care proxies, and powers of attorney drawn up – a true adult victory a long time in the making}

June 2014

June

{1 & 2. Family reunion in Cleveland for Marcus’ high school graduation, 3. Strawberry picking, 4-12. Texas for my 10-year high school reunion and to catch up with Emily, Kelley, Allison, Julia, Brandi, Apollo, Chrissie, Michelle, Sancho, mom and dad, Alix, Katie, and a bunch of wonderful friends from my graduating class, 13. Summer afternoon bike rides}

July 2014

July

{1. Drive-in movie theatre, 2. Weekends exploring the Finger Lakes and Naples, 3. 4th of July picnic, 4. Book club backyard party at Tanya & Scott’s, 5. More drive-in fun, 6. Mini-golf}

August 2014

August

{1. Summer Academy, 2. Date night with my first Rochester friend Kristen before her big move, 3. Good Luck burgers and fries for our joint birthday celebration, 4. Breakfast with Ali before she left for college, 5. Summers were made for ice cream}

September 2014

September

{1-6. Trip to Dubai and Sharjah in the United Arab Emirates, 7 & 8. Family and friend reunion/going away party/Packer home opener game in Green Bay, Wisconsin, 9. Pumpkin patching, 10. Not pictured – Rochester Fringe Festival}

October 2014

October

{1. I was a cactus for Halloween, 2 & 3. “Cabaret” at the Shaw Theatre Festival in Ontario, Canada with Shannon, 4. Fall farm, pumpkin patch and corn maze fun with Kelly and Chelsea, 5-8. Girls getaway weekend to the Legacy House B&B to see “Hay fever” and “Crazy for You” at the Stratford Theatre Festival in Ontario, Canada with Shannon, Heather, and Shawnda}

November 2014

November

{1. Atlas Eats girls night with Tanya, Shawnda, Chelsea, and Tate, 2. Friendsgiving!, 3. Family Thanksgiving in Chicago, 4. Friendsgiving post-dinner bonfire and s’mores, 5-7. Thanksgiving in Chicago with Kim, Tom, Lochlan, Declan, Mom, Dad, Grandma, Penny, Dorothy, Francisco, and Bud, 8. Not pictured – Michaela visits upstate NY for a girls weekend}

December 2014

December

{1. Carrie visits upstate NY for a girls weekend, 2. Blind-Date-with-a-Book at Writers & Books, 3. Geva Christmas party, 4. Blessed Sacrament young adults Christmas party, 5. Enjoying my Geva holiday gift – a Geva snuggie!, 6. Tate’s white elephant Christmas party, 7. Doing a Feuertzangenbowle (a firebowl) at Tate’s white elephant party}

December2

{1. Picking out Christmas tree, 2. Mary and Meg come back to town for the holidays, 3. A man and his ribs, 4. Christmas house, 5. Christmas dinner with Chelsea, Andrew, Priya, and Chintan, 6. Bowling on real wooden lanes at a family-run alley….and keeping score on paper, the old fashioned way, 7. Into the Woods at the movies, 8. New Years Eve smooch, 9. Snow, snow, snow for this happy guy}

 2014 was a real game changer for us…we’re keeping our hearts and minds open to what 2015 has in store for us!

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Halloween Night: The Cactus Cometh

IMG_9749{Most of the trees in our area are past peak by now, but this one was in its prime, just in time for a cold, rainy Halloween!}

FullSizeRender{Halloween work-day finery}

IMG_9766{This cactus made sure to score her $3 “boorito” at Chipotle on Halloween night!}

IMG_9756{Trick-or-treating}

IMG_9757{Jack-o-lanterns by Seth and Callum}

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IMG_9759{Sorting the loot}

FullSizeRender_1{Beer, chips, guac, and cookies & cream cookies for the adults….and the cactus – who neither qualifies as an adult or a kid}

IMG_9765{Like you’ve never had a cactus making guacamole in your kitchen before}

For $10 worth of men’s forest green sweats from the 1980s and a beanie courtesy of Goodwill, $3 in white pipe cleaners, $2 in orange silk flowers, a pair of good old cowboy boots, and 4 hours of hot-glue craftiness, you too can be an exceedingly cozy and extra warm cactus in New York!

Hope you all had a wonderful Halloween!

 

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Arabia!: Part V

This is the last of the UAE posts!

If you missed posts I, II, III, or IV in the series, be sure to check them out!

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{Awesome girls night out with Reem and Angelina at the Dubai Mall for some fancy shopping and fantastic Indian Food!}

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{The trip home!}

If you’ve followed along with these posts for the past several weeks, you’ve probably noticed that I mostly showcased photos and talked about a few of the things we saw or experienced. I wanted to clarify that there was SO much more to our trip than the few exciting or beautiful moments that the photos show. So, SO much more that I couldn’t possibly put into words on this blog. So many feelings and lessons and stories and people and ideas and joys and challenges and excitements and difficulties. This place and these people and our journey cannot possibly be defined by a few pictures and a few words. I have so much to say and so much to share, but it’s all best done in person. I’ve already shared many of our adventures and observations with those who I’ve seen since we returned about six weeks ago. But, if you’d like to know more about our time in the UAE, please let me know and I’d be happy to share!

Thanks for following along! Hope you’ve enjoyed the small slivers of our trip that we chose to share here!

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Arabia!: IV

In case you missed parts I, II, or III

Our day of exploring Sharjah!

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{Authentic Emirati breakfast at Fenyaal Cafe in Al Qasba. I had some superb Egyptian coffee with thick, savory, bread-like pancakes that are seasoned with spices and seeds that you top with a smooth, spreadable cream cheese and drizzle with honey. They were absolutely INCREDIBLE. Definitely one of the most interesting and unique dishes I ate in the UAE and it was delicious beyond words! Ted ordered a dish that consisted of sweet, warm noodles (think shredded crepes) and a flat omelette, which he also loved! We really enjoyed this cafe, the atmosphere, the food, and the views!}

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{Eye of the Emirates and Al Qasba}

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{Hop-on-hop-off bus tour = best and most inexpensive way to see Sharjah, learn about the culture and landmarks via audio-tour, and get around the city – an excellent form of transportation!}

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{Browsing the wares at the Blue Souk in Sharjah. It was enormous – almost overwhelming! Thousands of shops selling gold jewelry, Persian rugs, evening gowns, abayas and hijabs, electronics, spices, traditional trinkets, and anything else you could possibly imagine. There were also men’s and women’s prayer rooms for when the ‘call to prayer’ sounds. At every stall entrance someone was standing at the door urging you to come in to their shop and see what they have for you – a very bold style of shopkeeping we are generally unaccustomed to in the US. It was definitely an experience!}

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{Fruit and vegetable market & fish market – we arrived at the fish market after they’d closed for the day. Most markets and souks are open in the morning, shut down between 1 and 4pm, and reopen again in the afternoon/evening.}

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{Museum of Islamic Civilization…it was full of amazing, gorgeous things! Sharjah is a cultural capital and has many, many awesome museums to visit…and they cost hardly anything! We’re really looking forward to checking out the classic car museum and the airplane museum next!}

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{Back to Al Qasba for a beautiful sunset, a wonderful ‘pick-your-own-fish’ grilled seafood dinner at a lovely restaurant, some late-night ice cream along the water, steamy glasses (because that’s what happens when you step outside – it’s so hot and humid that you glasses instantly fog up), and the most terrifying taxi ride I’ve ever experienced and lived through – the driving there is no joke….but we got home safely!}

The last of our trip is up next!

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Arabia!: Part II

Missed part 1? Check it out here!

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IMG_8722{Lots of meat – mostly lamb – and cheese pastries and sweet breads…yum!}

IMG_8760{Banana, date, and honey smoothie – a very UAE treat}

IMG_8752{Our trip to Ikea-Dubai yielded two more pillows for Ted’s gigantic bed, a Tupperware set, a strainer, a kitchen rug, and a handful of other household and kitchen necessities….plus a bottle of lingonberry syrup and a bottle of rhubarb syrup that you mix with water to make sweet cocktail drinks. These were clearly added to the cart by yours truly.}

IMG_8761{Just so you know, when you order a sausage, egg, and cheese croissant on campus….”sausage” is really code for “hot dog.” Obviously, this did not stop Ted.}

IMG_8759{Interior of a domed building on campus….American college architecture has some catching up to do!}

IMG_8767{This country is packed with the most AMAZING desserts….I can’t tell you their names or what’s in them aside from honey and pistachios, but I still dream about these gorgeous, delicious delicacies!}

IMG_8766{Currency}

IMG_8781{Blueberry and mango ice cream balls}

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IMG_8819{Oh, the spices!}

IMG_8822{and the nuts!}

IMG_8821{and the peppers!}

IMG_8820{and the dates! DATES GALORE!}

IMG_8788{Si makes a second appearance among the palm trees on the bus from campus to Matajer}

IMG_8791{A little bit of library fun with Cari! Not that either of us are in any way involved with the performing arts or anything…}

IMG_9074{Front porch: Day view}

IMG_8811{Front porch: Sunset view}

IMG_4656{Tropical birds everywhere! On campus. And pretty much only on campus. But what a great surprise!}

More to come in a day or two! :)

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Arabia!: Part I

Ahhh yes, the trip pics finally emerge! These image-heavy posts will be coming for a while, so stick around if you’re interested!

And now….the our time in the United Arab Emirates: Part I.

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{Traveling on Emirates Airlines – free drinks, Frozen on my personal TV, a cozy blanket, oodles of leg room, and lamb with saffron rice with a side of lentils and feta, and a roasted Mediterranean veggie spread that blew my taste buds out of the water. In the morning they served a crazy tasty breakfast with an absolutely delicious croissant and, deep in the night to anyone who was awake, an unexpected midnight snack of a steaming hot cheesy pizza, a fresh pear, and a gin and tonic. They win.}

{Our first campus walk and tour of our new Home Sweet Home!}

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{You know, what all college campuses look like}

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{Domes and palm trees and fountains and marble}

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{For my sister-in-law, Kate}

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{Proud wifey!}

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{The toastiest marble my buns will ever touch…and never touch again because, lesson learned, sitting on 120 degree marble is not pleasant}

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{It only looks like it’s 75 degrees. Really, it’s about 115 – we were just wearing it particularly well at this very moment}

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{Campus is a lush desert paradise….with tons of handsome stray kitties who were lured into the University City gates by tons of equally handsome tropical birds, who were lured here by the promise of the tons of water it takes to keep this place lush and green. Totally wild and unexpected, but a very welcome surprise!}

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{Architecture of the new casa}

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{Our first trip into Dubai}

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{Burj Khalifa – the tallest building in the world}

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{Incredible Lebanese eats for dinner at Wafi Gourmet in the Dubai Mall, with a perfect view of…}

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{….the world’s largest fountain show!}

More to come soon!

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Childfree by Choice, or ‘There’s nothing wrong with me!’

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Last month Time Magazine ran this somewhat controversial article – “The Childfree Life: Having It All Without Having Children.”

This article is important to me.

Let me be clear: It’s not perfect. There are flaws – some things not considered, some thoughts not fully explored, some viewpoints and ideas not fully expressed, and I truly don’t believe that anyone ever really ‘has it all’ – with or without children.

There are pros and cons to every decision, to every lifestyle. There’s nothing wrong with having kids. There’s nothing wrong with not having kids. They both have their pros and cons. I feel this needs to be made abundantly clear.

But I am glad to see this article hit the mainstream, and I applaud the intentions of this article for bringing awareness to the fact that there are people who actually choose not to have children for many reasons, and that doesn’t mean that they are infertile or unable to have children, don’t contribute positively to society, or are heartless, utterly selfish, hate children, not good people, or are any less of a woman or man for their choice.

Because I’ve found, from my own personal experience (and, disclaimer, my life experiences will be different from other people’s life experiences, and that’s perfectly okay!), that as soon as you get married people expect you to pop out babies. The questions about when you are going to have kids start instantly. Like it’s a requirement, an expectation, instead of an option. And if your answer just so happens to be “We don’t think we want kids,” women (and men too, but I’m a woman so I will speak from a woman’s perspective) are often (not always, but often) met with disapproving silence, looks, commentary, inappropriate questions, doubt (whether intentional, unintentional, well-meaning, or not), or flat out dismissive remarks along the lines of “oh, you’ll change your mind in a few years.” And maybe we will. It’s possible. But maybe we won’t. That’s possible too. And either way, our choice is valid. Women/men/couples should not be treated as if their private decisions regarding the choice to raise children or not are unacceptable, especially if, whatever their decisions are, they come from a place of love, reason, thoughtfulness, and good intention.

Everyone is absolutely entitled to their own opinion, and I think contrasting views that open the door to healthy, informative, and respectful dialogue that allows us all to hear and appreciate alternate perspectives that differ from our own, leading us to a better understanding of ourselves and others, is a great byproduct of an important conversation like this one. I am open to learning and growing and sharing my thoughts, and also hearing someone else’s equally-as-valid thoughts. Which is why I also think it’s important to take a glance at these articles below, all responses to the Time Magazine article above, some I agree with and some I don’t, but all of which I appreciate because they open up the conversation. There are many more out there, I’m sure, but this is simply the small handful I came across.

Response 1

Response 2

Response 3

Response 4

Response 5

Response 6

My hope is that, in the future, people might simply consider asking a woman/man/couple if they plan to have children rather than ‘when’ and that, whatever their answer may be, responses can be offered and reciprocated with an open mind and respect in contributing agreements or different perspectives, so that we can move forward, continuing to share and grow, as individuals and as a caring and accepting society. After all, it takes all kinds in this world. :)

In short, people who choose not to have children are not freaks. Amen.

(And neither is anyone else for their decision to have children or not, for that matter)

Also, 23 Things You Should Never Say to a Childfree Woman, for what it’s worth…;) I think most childfree women/men/couples will agree and (probably) invite healthy conversations, honest questions, and the sharing of insights…assuming those thoughts aren’t disguised as insults or phrased quite like the ones above. ;) A little tact goes a long way!

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