There are, in my humble estimation, only three cheeseburgers out there worth the calories. I don’t eat them often, but every once every few months I get an insatiable craving for a fat, messy, flavorful cheeseburger. And if I’m going to pack on the pounds to eat a cheeseburger, I’m going to splurge and eat a cheeseburger. A huge, oozy, cheeseburger stuffed with ketchup, mustard, a smidge of mayo, pickles, onions, lettuce, and tomato. My top picks?
1. Culver’s Double Butter Cheeseburger. Okay, now you can say this is just a fast food chain, but Culver’s makes the most amazing cheeseburgers out there. They are my absolute favorite and so worth every single calorie – of which there are many I’m certain. They’re made of Wisconsin meat and cheese and they’re sloppy and drippy and greasy and cheesy and the patties aren’t perfectly round and the pickles are crisp. It is totally perfect. If you haven’t tried one, you have no idea what you’re missing. Get thee to a Culver’s immediately. The crinkle fries and milkshakes aren’t terrible either. In fact, you pretty much cannot top this meal.
2. Kopp’s. This joint only has three locations that I know of – all of which are in Milwaukee. Every time we find ourselves in Milwaukee, this is a must stop place. Like, it makes the to-do list. Their cheeseburgers are huge – really short but wide and stuffed with the toppings of your choice. The messier the better! I literally dream of this place when I know we’re headed to Milwaukee. Yes, it’s that good.
3. Five Guys. This one’s a recent discovery. A chain, yes, but its not really all that noticeable. When a Culver’s and/or a Kopp’s are unavailable or a really freaking long way away, this is a worthy replacement. Obviously I’m into messy burgers with tons of flavor – of which this has both. Good stuff! And it’s even better stuff since it’s the only one of the three that we actually have in Cincinnati.
Well, now that you’ve read more than you’ve ever wanted to read about cheeseburgers (sorry vegetarians!), I have to tell you that tonight was one of those nights. A night I was absolutely desperately craving a cheeseburger. Specifically, a Culver’s cheeseburger…with crinkle cut fries. Not exactly on my healthy eating for life plan by any means, but yesterday was an exception. My dumb people tolerance quota for the day had been breached by noon, there was a long after-work work meeting had me reeling and starving with no time to make a proper meal at home if we had any hopes of eating before 9:30 p.m. It just felt like a great night to splurge. So we did. We got back in the car and drove 25 miles south to our nearest Culver’s in Florence, KY. You don’t need to point out that we drove for nearly an hour, in the rain, and wasted about $15 in gas for a cheeseburger – we already know how ridiculous that is.
Happy Thursday! I bet I know what you’re eating with that beer tomorrow night after work… ;-)
