Well, I did it! I survived my wisdom teeth extraction surgery on Friday. I realize that this is a common procedure and that many, many people before me have made it through – no big deal. But I honestly thought, as an adult, that I’d never need to have my wisdom teeth out and I’d lucked out of this little rite of passage. I was wrong.
First and foremost, I have to tell you that I was dreading it. Terrified, crazed, nervous wreak doesn’t even begin to cover it. But you know what? It wasn’t pleasant, but it really wasn’t nearly as awful as I’d expected, and for that I have to give so much credit to Ted, who was a truly incredible husband and nurse to me all weekend. He has been just ridiculously, unbelievably awesome for the past five days, and continues to be so, even five days post-op.
I, wisely, opted for IV sedation, which was a total Godsend, practically painless, and put me to sleep instantly. After my college-aged looking oral surgeon and his team of nurses put the IV in, got me on oxygen, and hooked me up to all the monitors, the surgeon kept me talking (and my mind off of what was going on) by shooting several vials of meds into my IV line, the first three of which he referred to as PBR (Pabst Blue Ribbon beer) and the last one, he told me, was Wild Turkey (a bourbon). Ha. Bourbon at 8 a.m. He’s funny. But you know what? That’s kind of what it felt like. The last thing I remember was a comforting, warm, tingly feeling taking over my body and mind while I attempted to ask if this would hurt or if I’d be able to feel anything…and then I was gone. When I awoke an hour later, I was exhausted, and groggy, had two less wisdom teeth, and had slept through the entire thing, which was exactly what I had hoped for.
Now, here’s what nobody tells you about wisdom tooth extraction – the good, the bad, and the ugly:
1. The IV sedation meds will make you feel way out of it and super emotional. After they woke me up from the surgery and got me situated for Ted to come and take me to the car, I just sat there in the wheelchair, with a cheek full of bloody gauze, and tears streaming down my face – for no reason at all. Not because I was in pain, not because I was scared, or overwhelmed, but just simply because those meds make you cry for some uncontrollable, inexplicable reason. I’m pretty sure it took all of Ted’s willpower not to whip out the video camera and laugh while I sat there staring off into the distance, mumbling unintelligible nonsense statements, and crying.
2. I was exhausted – like, I absolutely could not stay awake on the car ride home exhausted. I was OUT. Ted drove the whole way home with his hand on my knee for comfort and support (somehow I felt, and remembered, this – he’s the best!), stopped at Target to put in for my prescriptions, stopped at McDonald’s to get me a vanilla milkshake, left me in the car at home for a couple of minutes while he went inside to lay out towels for me to walk on and get a chair ready for me to sit in when I got inside…and I seriously slept through everything. And then, at home, after I somehow managed to get through the milkshake he’d gotten me (which was a lot harder than it sounds – especially because your mouth feels all messed up and you’re not allowed to suck through a straw), Ted got me situated on the couch with blankets, pillows, slippers, PJs, movies, an ice pack, gauze, plenty of painkillers, towels for me to bleed all over, and my iPad. I fully intended to get some actual theatre work done (ohhh, the plans I had!)…and I promptly fell asleep and basically stayed that way for the entire rest of the day. And was still tired that night when I went to bed. I was tired on Saturday. I was tired on Sunday. And Monday and Tuesday back at work took some adjustment too, but all I wanted to do when I got home from work was relax.
3. Oh, the blood! Eww. I bled through gauze square after gauze square after gauze square. Of course, in my drug-induced haze, I immediately drooled blood all over our beige carpet as soon as I got into the house, which Ted – the angel – immediately cleaned up and never even mentioned again. But, really, I never even considered that my mouth would bleed pretty much all day. It happens, so be prepared and have plenty of gauze on hand.
4. The first day was actually the worst. I’d expected that I would be totally numb all day – that I wouldn’t start feeling anything until day 2. And that was not what happened. Almost as soon as we got home, the numbness had worn off and I was aching, swelling, sore and in pain. Fortunately, the cocktail of pills they have me on is highly effective, but day one was definitely worse than I expected. Which, fortunately, meant that days two and three were better than I expected they’d be.
5. You’ll stay busy. Between a 6-hour rotation of pills, replacing gauze, heating and icing your jaw, swishing salt water after every meal, and coming up with enough soft foods to keep you full – your waking hours will be well spent.
6. It’ll be difficult to open your mouth, and it kind of hurts to talk during the first two days, so I mostly ate baby bites of soft food with a small spoon and avoided phone calls and talking as much as possible.
7. I got a freaking SWEET bruise from my IV! I was pretty proud…that thing was a BEAST.
I know you’re impressed.
In terms of food, since you can’t eat anything solid, spicy, or hot (temperature wise) for the first two days, I lived on vanilla milkshakes, vanilla yogurt, chocolate pudding, applesauce, mojito sorbet, lukewarm creamy potato leek soup, lukewarm cream of wheat cereal, Powerade, and soft-boiled eggs over guacamole. All of which I’ve grown pretty fond of. Yum! I’d also recommend egg drop soup and soft Asian noodles, if you’re looking for something a little more exciting once you’ve healed up a bit.
I also got a ton of much-needed rest over the long weekend and finally got to read several chapters of The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey, finish watching season 2 of Call the Midwife, and watch the new live filmed Carrie Underwood version of The Sound of Music that Ted had taped for me back in December. And The Sound of Music, even if it’s not the best adaptation in the world (and it wasn’t), always makes me feel better.
And, as if this entire post weren’t TMI enough, this is where I get sappy and wax poetic about how totally amazing Ted was. He anticipated my every need before I could even ask for it, he kept me totally comfortable at all times, kept on top of all my pill, gauze, icing, heating, and salt water swishing rotations, woke up with me in the middle of the night when I needed to be awake to take care of myself, brought me whatever food I needed, wanted, and could eat, checked in with me constantly to make sure I was feeling okay and didn’t need anything, and – in general – just made my recovery so easy and comfortable. If you ever need your wisdom teeth out, I sure hope you all have someone wonderful to take care of you – it really makes a HUGE difference.
And, Cider got her first taste of bloodworms this weekend. Nasty, we know, but she adores them. Also, our fish eats out of a food bowl. We are one weird family.
Hope you had a great weekend!
