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{thredUp, Gap, Loft, Express, La Salon Bianca, Aerial Arts of Rochester}
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The items above are a few things I’ve had my eyes on for quite some time. If someone asked me for a Christmas List (and, really, only our parents still do), that’s what would be on it. A little of this, a little of that. Wants, but not needs.
It might come as a surprise to some people that we don’t really do Christmas presents anymore. Not for each other, not for our families. We usually send out Christmas cards, and perhaps a tiny thing here or there, and I do love to bake and mail edible treats to family around the holidays, if time and resources allow. But that’s usually about it. And we certainly don’t expect any gifts in return at Christmastime from our own families or friends either.
It’s not a matter of not loving to give or receive presents. We all love gifts – who doesn’t love gifts? We love giving them just as much, if not more, than we love receiving them. But as we get older, we’ve discovered several things:
1. Gifts for everyone are expensive. Ted freelances, so his income is very sporadic and unpredictable. I work at a non-profit theatre, where I love my job but I certainly don’t do it for the money, and we have medical bills to pay. Simply put, we could be thrifty and save all year (and we do), but we still wouldn’t have the money to buy gifts for each other, or everyone else, every year. It’s not a reflection of how much we love or care about our family and friends, it’s not a reflection of our spending or saving habits, and it’s not a reflection of selfishness or generosity. It’s just the way it is.
2. Nobody in our family really needs anything that they could not go out and buy on their own if they really needed, or even wanted, it. We know that’s not the reason to give or not give presents. But, very fortunately, everyone in our family has enough. Us included. All our basic needs are met. Everything else is just an extra, or a want, or something that can wait a while. And while we wish we could indulge those wants for each other and our families and friends, making sure needs are met comes first.
3. On that note, we realize that they are many, many hundreds of thousands of people in this city, in this state, in this country, and all around the world whose needs are not met. Because we are fortune to have what we have and to have what we need (and we know our families and most of our friends do too), we’d rather use the little bit of money we can scrape together during to the holidays to help make sure others needs are met – and so we do that instead. Adopt a family, donations to particular cause or charity, buying a few necessary items for a person we have found out is in need, purchasing food for the soup kitchen, donating our time, gathering physical donations – whatever it is, we’d rather put time and money toward those who need it than spend it shopping or spending where there is not a need. So that’s what we do.
4. It sounds cliché, but for us, it really isn’t about the presents. Christmas is about the spirit of the season. It’s about being together, enjoying what we have, enjoying each other, and enjoying wonderful experiences rather than things. For some of us, it’s really about Christ too. Presents are nice, and its human nature to want – nothing wrong with that. But, for us, there’s so much more to Christmas than just that.
There’s no right or wrong way to do Christmas. This is the choice that works best for Ted and I, as a family. And there are plenty of other valid choices out there too that work for other families. But this is how we Christmas. Ted’s extended family, for a while when everyone would get together at Christmas, did a gift card exchange where each person purchased one $25 gift card and gift cards were traded around in some fun fashion (Wii game contests, board games, etc.) amongst all who were present – so everyone spent $25 on one gift card and everyone received one gift card – a system I liked as well. I know many families couldn’t imagine a Christmas without a tree full of presents. I know families who don’t do presents at all. I know families who only do presents for children, and others who only do charity donations, and others who only do holiday cards, and still others who spend their money to travel to see one another instead. To each family their own.
Do you have any holiday traditions regarding gifting? What does your family do?
