Happy belated Valentine’s Day!
I hope you all had a lovely holiday and have been staying warm in body, mind, and spirit these bitterly cold and snowy February days (I’m looking at you, entire USA, but specifically – and oddly enough – Texas).
I wanted to take a moment to talk about Valentine’s Day – a holiday that is both extremely divisive for some and deeply personal for others. Some people really have a heart for Valentine’s Day and embracing the feelings of warmth, love, and affection wherever they come from, and the material, physical, or emotional affirmations that accompany it. And others wish nothing more than that it would float off into the abyss of ludicrous forgotten customs of a bygone era – a distant memory of something super weird and overwhelmingly corny or inauthentic that society used to feel pressured to celebrate in expensive and obnoxious ways. As a person who has fallen into both camps at one point or another in their life as I’ve come into and out of romantic relationships, and into and out of periods of shifting focus or mental or emotional transition, I empathize with both schools of thought (and probably any and every other idea in between), and can understand why people feel the way they do.
But what I’ve ultimately arrived at, and have believed for the better part of my 20s and 30s, is that Valentine love is a celebration of ALL love. It is not limited to romantic love, commercialism, financial obligation, traditionalism, gifts, gender, one particular day of the year, or even to just people-love, love of those still living, or love of those we know well (or even at all). Many long for the love and still find ways to inwardly share love with Valentines who left this world long ago. Many others show love and give of it generously to people they don’t even know through donations, compassion for those in need, and acts of kindness to strangers. Many more would say human valentines are fine and all, but their pets are their valentines and that’s where the love and celebration is really at. But, regardless, love must be practiced and cherished the whole year through to carry any weight on the day we collectively acknowledge and honor it.
This year I mailed love and appreciation notes to some family and friends across the country, and Ted helped me make five dozen hot chocolate bombs over four days. Then I delighted in spending five relaxing hours of mostly-peaceful country roads driving on a beautiful winter day to deliver them as surprises to the front porches of 14 special friends (guys and gals!) along with love notes and mask brackets. I would have delivered cocoa bombs and notes to at least eight dozen more people if I could!
Ted and I rarely exchange gifts on holidays, but we love each other every single day and we sure made some pancakes for breakfast together and ate some tacos in our pajamas that night in honor of that love!
The older I get, the more I can’t imagine a more joyful or important task than making sure that the spouse, family, chosen family, friends, friends’ kids, co-workers, neighbors, and pets in my life know that I love them and am grateful for them, in my own unique way, today and every day. I guess what it boils down to is that, like any other holiday, it is what you make of it. Some of those Valentine’s Days will be wonderful; others will be very hard or deeply upsetting for any number of reasons. But I can choose my overall perspective on this day to be one of goodwill or one of mockery or despair, and I can relish in it because I choose for it to be about ALL kinds of love – romantic, familial, friendly, self, nature, life, passion, experiences, and more.
