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Is it bad that my favorite stand at the Farmers Market is Donna’s Gourmet Cookies?

Oh, it is?

Too bad.

What Donna’s Gourmet Cookies have to do with farm fresh produce plucked from the Earth two days ago and sold today by a bearded, suntanned farmer is beyond my realm of reasoning. But clearly, I’m not complaining. It’s the first stand I scan the aisle for and, I’ll be honest, I’m a little crushed when they’re not there. But they were there yesterday morning and I had quite a corundum on my hands choosing between the soft chocolate chip, the flaky snickerdoodle, and the baked doughnut. For those of you who are aghast that at a Farmers Market full of fresh, sun-ripened, healthy, and flavorful produce all I can focus on is the damn cookies, fear not. I do patronize the stands of zucchini, green beans, herbs, tomatoes, eggs, peaches, and peppers…after I wolf my way through sweet goodness first.

Here, in fact, is picture proof of that very statement. Green beans so much tastier and plumper than the shrimpy, skinny guys in grocery stores, a zucchini bursting with flavor, and a banana pepper than I accumulated quite by accident when I clumsily dropped a quarter into one of the farmer’s baskets and since it was irretrievable she offered me a banana pepper because they go for $0.25 – an even trade. I love banana pepper, but I’ve never cooked with it before. Here’s to trying something new! If you have any good banana pepper recipes, you know where to find me. Lopsided chick, lane 29.

Do you know what else I did yesterday? I went berry picking!

“It’s not like my children to be secretive, and it’s not like my children to be late for dinner.”

“We just told you, Father. We were berry picking!

“Oh! I forgot. You were berry picking! What kind of berries?”

“Strawberries!”

“It’s, uh, too early for strawberries”

“Well, it’s been so cold lately they’ve turned blue.”

Shame on you if you don’t know what movie this quote is from. On the off chance you’re still clueless, it’s from The Sound of Music, a movie I loved so dearly as a child (and, um, adult) that I had it memorized. Once upon a college I performed in this show too. I’ll spare you the pictures, but it was a blast.

Back to the berry picking. Out in Milford, a half hour drive from our place in Anderson, there’s a farm called Rouster’s Apple House. They grow all kinds of fruit and make yummy cider from their apples. On Saturdays during the summer they also host “pick your own fruit” in their orchards. I was told it starts at 8 a.m. and that I should plan to arrive right when they open. “Oh, really?,” I thought. “And just how crowded could this place possibly be on a Saturday morning at 8 a.m.?”

Let me tell you how many people in Cincinnati have a hankering to pick fruit at sunrise on a Saturday morning. A lot. I arrived at 8:10 and there had to have been 150 cars packed in the parking lot already. My words tasted delicious, in case you were wondering.

I’ve been fruit picking twice in my life. Blackberry picking with my sister and niece Jenn (on Chincoteague Island in Virginia I think) back around 1997ish, and strawberry picking in Germany during the summer of 2005.

Here’s a few pointers I garnished from my recent picking experience:

1. Don’t be a smart ass. If they say arrive at 8 a.m., it means get there by 7:45.

2. Old people are vultures. Apparently blackberry picking is a serious business when you’re 79. I do not own special picking baskets with handles or a berry picking stool. Furthermore, I have no desire reach up into the inner depths your personal blackberry bush to commander the goods, so quit the scowling granny. And save some for the rest of us, huh?

3. Showering before you go is a ridiculous notion and an abysmal waste of time. Especially if it rained the night before. The bushes will be full of water, and so too will you. You’ll also be covered in mud and smashed berries, so heads up. P.S., If you didn’t learn this the first time around from my Blackberry-Thyme Margarita epic fail, blackberries stain. Wear ugly clothes.

4. Your mouth is not the bucket. Tempting as it may be to plop them all in there, I recommend tasting one blueberry from each bush and if you like the taste from that tree, stick with it.

5. Little kids will announce where all the awesome berries are, so listen up. “Hey dad! I found the best tree with the biggest blueberries EVER over here!” is your cue to find the kid and score big.

6. Whereas you’ll fork over a hefty wad of cash at the grocery store for a small pint of berries you can pick thousands on your own for far less money. A significant savings, more than quadruple the number of the berries, and a family bonding experience? You really can’t go wrong.

Wait, what’s this? Those aren’t blueberries! Nope. They’re cupcakes from SugarPlum Cupcakery in Milford. I couldn’t resist picking up a special treat for me and Ted – we eat healthy all week, so I think a weekend treat is well deserved. His is the Carrot Cake Cupcake and mine is the Cincinnati – a chocolate cupcake stuffed with a Bavarian cream filling and topped with caramel cream cheese. These, amazingly, have not made their way into our stomachs yet. I’ll let you know the verdict when they do. I suspect it will be electrifying.

While we’re on the subject of food, here’s what I eat while my husband is away at lighting conferences.

While Ted’s out of town I tend to try the meals that I know will interest me, but that he’d steer clear of. I also have to show off my basil plant because it is finally thriving after months of babying it. My spearmint, on the other hand, is having nothing of the whole “life and growth” nonsense. You win some, you lose some. I have no movie quotes about spearmint or basil…sorry.

Lest you think all I did this week was eat or think about eating, I did, in fact, do something other than entertain my taste buds. I went cosmic bowling on Friday night for ten games until my shoes crapped out on me after at least eight years of neglect (the nerve!), I spent Saturday afternoon at the library and coffee shop catching up on some reading, I got crafty with a quickie art project, and played some Wii video games well into the evening. This morning I hit up church and washed the laundry. My tennis shoes, apparently, aren’t going to clean themselves after their romp in the berry orchards yesterday. This afternoon I intend to take a field trip to the Mt. Washington swimming pool. It’s only the end of summer and I’ve finally located a public swimming pool in our area. Here’s hoping it isn’t sketchy. What’s summer without a dip in the pool once or twice anyhow?

I sincerely hope your weekend has been as relaxing as mine has been. Because we all deserve a little break once in a while. :-)