Our first conversation this morning went something like this:
“Hey dude, there’s these little black bugs all over the bathroom…”
” (crunch, crunch goes the Cinnamon Toast Crunch) Like, ants?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. They’re tiny little black bugs. I guess they could be ants. But they’re everywhere.”
” (looking) Oh hey, look at that. Yup, those are ants.”
“But they weren’t here last night before we went to bed. It’s like they literally appeared overnight.”
“They did.”
“Ummmm?”
“We turned on the a.c. for the first time last night. They’re like me. They like the cold.”
“Huh.”
Spraying the walls, baseboards, windows and cabinets in the entire house for ants, it’s how everyone likes to spend their Wednesday morning before work. Am I right? We expect them to make a hasty and non-returning exit from our residence by this afternoon. I reopened my bathroom cabinet about 30 minutes later to find a pile of a dozen or so dead ants at the base of my Listerine bottle. Tasty.
On a slightly less critter-infested note, I was awarded Employee of the Month yesterday. Likely for being the least offensive person in April. A real shock, I know. Most enticing is the fact that this honor comes with a prize of the “treat of your choice,” for which I chose Oreo truffles (recipe here).
These are more than easy enough to make on my own, but if someone else wants to do it for me, so be it. Award happily accepted. These balls of magnificence are truly awesome. I suggest you make and devour them immediately. Girl’s night anyone?
Also, have you seen today’s Google image? A tribute to dancer and choreographer Martha Graham, mother of modern/contemporary dance, on the celebration of her 117th birthday. I always get a little giddy to see artsy achievements properly boasted and celebrated in our society. I danced in Orchesis, a modern dance company, for three years at Texas State University. I instantly recognized this morning’s fun animation as that of dance and was pleased.
To keep you updated, same old same old. More working for both of us – jobs, road cases, job hunting, arts ed. work – more honeymoon research. More anticipating the arrival of summer and all the fun things that will happen. In keeping with my recently-started tradition, I’d like to enlighten you with some open letters to the public. My favorites!
Dear Cincinnati Drivers:
A red light, especially one that has been red for several seconds already, means STOP. To the two fools I witnessed zooming through an already red light on Beechmont Avenue this morning at about 8:57…what were you thinking? I stopped. You should have too. Furthermore, FAIL. Learn to drive without endangering the rest of civilization or get off the road.
P.S. A chihuahua is not an appropriate driver’s side window accessory.
Sincerely,
Lara
Dear Cincinnati Weather Gods,
Let’s talk about this humidity for a minute, shall we? See, Texas is hot. Ohio is humid. It may only be in the upper 70s or low 80s, but the humidity makes everything sticky, my skin shiny, my hair unruly and my husband grouchy. Please tone it down a bit. This is just one of those things nobody warns you about when you move to a new place. On a positive note, thanks for not snowing!
Sincerely,
Lara
Dear Modcloth, Lulu’s, 6PM, GoJane, ShopRuche, Dillards, Macy’s and Nordstrom Rack,
So many adorable dresses, so little money!! Please send me free dresses.
Sincerely,
Lara
Dear Ross stores,
I appreciate your cute dresses too. But mostly I appreciate the fact that you are cheap and therefore I could probably afford a few new frocks for our honeymoon vacay. Why are you not in Ohio again? Please franchise to Cincinnati. See you in Texas!
Sincerely,
Lara
Dear Blackberry crop,
You are fantastic this year. I eat about a bag of you for lunch daily. Keep up the good work. In fact, if you stay this delicious I’ll award you a Berry of the Month certificate and the obligatory Oreo Truffle prize as well. I think that’s fair incentive. I mean, worked for me.
P.S. I love you!
Sincerely,
Lara
