Happy Holidays to you and yours!
This year’s Christmas card!
Please excuse the shoddy photography and supremely poor editing, but I wanted to extend our well-wishes for a happy, healthy, and joyful Christmas season to all our friends as well!
Merry Christmas!
We have so very many blessings to be thankful for!
As promised…cookie pics!!
Eat your heart out.
Metaphorically, of course.
Please excuse the slightly inappropriate language, but this was too funny not to share.
(Click to enlarge)
Some days in Cincinnati, this is exactly how I feel. You should hear how I have to communicate with some of the kids I teach and some of the customers at work.
Hence why this is hilarious.
Gotcha!
While my Friday posts are typically reserved for the sharing of the most epic of weekly fails, this week I don’t have much failure to share, which is a good thing indeed! Sure, there’s the usual suspects – poor parenting, unfortunate outfit choices, unbelievable driving habits, inappropriate signage, and a serious case of the stupids, but that’s pretty much run-of-the-mill Cincinnati, nothing spectacular or extraordinary per say. However, this week was sprinkled with a few epic successes that are simply too happy and relieving not to share. Tis’ the season for celebrating our blessings, after all. So, we’ll focus on those instead. (Also, I have been unable to snap a pic of my intended epic fail target, but rest assured, it is in the works.)
Success #1: Those darn cookies! I spent hours hunting down an ideal recipe selection, some traditional and some festive. I spent hours typing up sweet little recipe cards. I dragged poor Ted through the baking aisles of our local grocery store for at least 90 minutes hunting down every last ingredient, of which there were many. (This and quality check were Ted’s contribution to the project. He says Merry Christmas.) I baked for 7 hours. And they all turned out delicious and fairly good looking, if I do say so myself (pics forthcoming!)
Success #2: I was blogged! My awesome new Texas-native, Shakespeare-lovin’, fashion-forward, margarita-drinkin’ Cincy friend (Allyson, you will henceforth be known by this title) has a great blog that you really should bookmark and read regularly and she wrote about me! And my cookies! It was sweet and she shared the link to my blog with her faithful followers and I was giddy with surprise and appreciation for at least 2 hours afterwards.
Success #3: My musical theatre kids performance! It was last night and, as kids always do, they got it together and did so well! I am extra proud this time around because this is my first batch of Cincinnati kids and boy have I learned a lot about coaching acting and musical theatre from these guys! It’s a whole new approach when working with kiddos who are hungry, cold, tired, attention-starved, lonely, witnesses to violence or sadness, or live an otherwise tougher lifestyle. While my whole approach had to be adjusted, I maintained my high expectations because I believe that if you set your expectations high that they will rise to the occasion and appreciate the sweetness of their success and efforts even more. And they were so good! Really made me proud. I was also happy to have Ted and two others there to support me and to cheer them on in their performance.
Success #4: A lovely night out at our favorite Cincy Japanese eatery! I dined on boiled and salted edamame, miso soup, seaweed salad with ginger dressing, fried rice, teriyaki salmon, and the most delectable sauces in existence. It was so tasty and such a relaxing meal. Since I’d spent the entire previous day baking and didn’t really feel like cooking dinner, Ted treated me to a night out. It was awesome! They have a couples New Year’s Eve special, so we will probably be there again on NYE before our Wii and movie extravaganza of epic awesomeness begins.
Success #5: All Christmas packages appear to be arriving on time and I survived a trip to the post office during peak “you don’t want to be anywhere near this hellish establishment” season. Enough said.
Success #6: I have a fun little surprise up my sleeve for the husband tomorrow. Nothing big, just a little something to bring him some holiday cheer while I’m at work. Dudes deserve some ‘just because’ appreciation too. (If you’re reading this, it’s not a pie.)
And just as a friendly reminder, TEXAS IN 3 DAYS!
I. Know.
There is a certain orange tabby who has no idea what kind of a cuddle bomb is about to rock his world. I sure hope he is ready because the kitty-lovin’ that is going to be happening will be EPIC. I am also super excited for authentic Tex-Mex eats, some real Texas BBQ, and the FireBowl party! And, of course, I’m psyched to spend some quality time partaking in holiday merriment my family and friends! There is nothing more important to me then them.
What are your epics this week?
Dear Scrabble Gods,
I need a damn “u”!! If only you will grant me this one tile I can play the word ‘qualm’ with the Q landing on a double letter and the whole thing landing on a double word and it would also help me to finish off the word “mu” for a total of 60 points so I can finally whoop Ted in a game of Scrabble. Please give me a “u” and soon before that sneak takes my spot!
Sincerely,
One Away From Complete Domination
*******
Dear Holiday Baking,
Thanks for seeing me through 6 different batches and the baking of over 160 cookies on Tuesday. It was epic. And while you are all thoroughly delicious and will undoubtedly bring much tasty joy to my friends and family, please consider this my official resignation for the rest of the season. There is a limit and it has been reached. See you next December.
Sincerely,
Proudly Baked Out
*******
Dear Adorable Seal,
Read this. For real!? Some people have all the luck!
Sincerely,
Jealous and, Unfortunately, Seal-less in Ohio
I enjoyed an incredible salad of mixed greens, goat cheese, walnuts, dried cherries, and pears for dinner. You must try this combination immediately and then invite me over for dinner. Simple and savory hits the spot every time – no dressing required. It’s fantastic.
We exercised our brains with a little Scrabble action, scrolled a photo montage of Eskimos, reindeer, and the magnificent northern lights in the snowy Lapland region of Sweden followed by a Globe Trekkers documentary on cruising to Antarctica (uh, hello bucket list x 2,000,000!), and capped off the night with a Charlie Rose show interview of Michael Boyd, Artistic Director of the Royal Shakespeare Company in Stratford, where I did my Shakespeare intensive study abroad program.
Whimsical fabulosity on all accounts. How was your evening?
Sometimes I think we’re just a bunch of old farts: We play scrabble. We also watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy religiously. And we’re proud members of the Wheel Watchers Spin Club (there’s nothing wrong with hoping to cash in on a bit of those cash & prizes). I cook healthy dinners (often in my crockpot – bonus!) and complain about the noisy whippersnapper above us who blares godforsaken metal music and stomps like a Clydesdale at 2 a.m. We’re hardly ever out and about past 11 p.m. and sleeping in means 9 a.m. The last time I entered a club with drinking, dancing, throbbing music, and glow sticks was definitely 2008. We go to the second run dollar theatre because we’re about the cheapest people on the planet and we’re constantly concerned about our health care, insurances, investments, and retirement funds. We consult our Entertainment coupon book often. We went on an old people cruise to Alaska, on an old people cruise line (Holland America) for our honeymoon and had a grand time! Every Sunday morning we attend 8 a.m. mass and go to Panera for breakfast, with the rest of the 80+ crowd. I’ve discovered a healthy appreciation for quality over quantity, old-timey classic Christmas things, vintage, and I no longer have glow in the dark stars, constellations, and galaxies plastered on my bedroom ceiling (99% because Ted won’t let me). We want to build and maintain a hobby model train exhibit that snakes around our living room. Ted likes pickled herring and I like dried fruit – that’s about as old-fartish as it gets, folks.
And sometimes I think how obnoxious we must be to others because we’re permanently five years old: The Wii was listed as a high priority on our wedding registry, and I still play Super Mario Brothers on my Nintendo DS. We had an entire camping gear related wedding registry too, as well as glow sticks at our reception. We cannot be let loose in Toys R’ Us, The Coolest Toy Store On Earth, or the toy aisles of Target without brazenly testing out every plaything in sight. We bring a bouncy ball to nice restaurants (accidental chaos sometimes ensues and we spend 14 minutes trying to figure out how to retrieve said bouncy ball from beneath the high heeled stiletto of the tramp eight tables over), and I request the kids activity book and crayons at restaurants I know have them. Ted could eat a rotation of mac n’ cheese, tacos, pizza, ribs, and honey bbq chicken wings every weeknight for eternity and never tire of it (please note the astonishing absence of leafy greens or veggies from this menu). I could eat ice cream hourly. We often skip, race, ballet leap, and/or piggy-back ride across parking lots. Ted makes up the most amazing, ridiculous, goofy songs and voices you’d ever hope to hear. Cosmic bowling, black light mini golf, laser tag, roller coaster amusement parks, bouncy castles, trampolines, carnival rides, swing sets, four wheelers, cotton candy/giant lollipops/funnel cakes/snowcones bring inexplicable joy. As do mondo piles of leaves, unattended water hoses, and large snowbanks to push one another into. We have a multi-colored rotating disco ball in our office. Ted can often be found awake at the crack of dawn plopped in front of the TV with a bowl of sugary, colorful Trix cereal watching Inspector Gadget and other cartoons, while I maintain my addiction to animated flicks, Scooby Doo, Halloween costumes, and small animals.
Bandwagons we have jumped onto: Becoming a Mac family (iPhones, iPods, iPads, MacBooks, Apple Airport Extremes, etc.), Angry Birds, Groupon/LivingSocial/CincySavers, Blogging, Instagram photos.
Bandwagons I will not be jumping on in 2012: Twitter (nobody needs to know that much of anyone’s business), Words with Friends (I prefer the real deal where nobody can cheat with a dumb scrabble dictionary), Pintrest (with what time and what money to get addicted to/obsessed with other people’s implied perfection?), and baby birthing (just no, so don’t ask).
Yesterday my amazing husband, with a bad back ache might I add, got the truck towed to the repair shop and chauffeured me to and from work with our one working vehicle, hung a shelf above the island in our dining room (thus officially completing our final check off the moving in to-do list!), took the tools and Christmas decoration storage boxes back to our storage unit, took the recycle to the recycling station, and touched up all the scratches and dings on the walls with paint while I was at work. Like I said, amazing. It was such a sweet surprise to come home to all that, unexpectedly, done! Looks like I can finally post a photo tour of our new home…coming soon!
Today I, shockingly, have a blessed and rare full day off! I almost don’t know what to do with myself! Oh, wait. Yes, I do. Sleep in, church, leisurely breakfast of pastries at Panera, and then spend the entire rest of the day snoozing like a cat on the cozy green rug beneath the sunlight in the living room, watching football, munching wings and beer, playing scrabble, drinking christmas tea, and maybe wrapping a present or two and playing boggle on the wii if I can bring myself to sit up. Yes, I suppose I know exactly how to spend my day off.
Laaaaaaazzy.
After last month’s $1,700 car repair bill we now have a truck that will not start sitting at my work. This is an epic fail in and of itself.
So instead of focusing on that fail, I shall share some of this week’s biggest successes and a funny story.
***
Success #1: Making three returns in one day is like getting an unexpected paycheck – cha-ching! Crossing this off my to-do list was simultaneously gratifying and account expanding.
Success #2: Got a big old box of diet cherry coke from my Secret Santa at work, had a delish Chinese food dinner date with the husband, and scored free tickets for a phenomenal and hilarious production of Love’s Labour’s Lost at Cincy Shakes with a sweet new friend (said friend is also a fellow Texan, margarita drinker, and Shakespeare buff. Jackpot.)
Success #3: Went grocery shopping for the sole purpose of filling a box full of food for a St. Vincent de Paul family in need this holiday season. Felt so good to do! I’m stoked to drop it off on Sunday.
Success #4: Got another perfect-for-me (uh, I hope) theatre job application submitted, had a meeting with our insurance agent to get ourselves all sorted out for 2012, Christmas cards are signed, sealed and are ready for their debut, Christmas decorations are up, and the pumpkins have been reduced to tasty seeds.
Success # 5: My youngest musical theatre kiddos had a great day on Wednesday! They rocked their song, dance, and a staged reading of their recently revised script at our final rehearsal (not bad for kids who are just learning to read!) and we had time left over to rock out on a slew of fun theatre games. Which is where this week’s funny story comes in. It is entitled:
I Store Hamsters
I play a game called “No, you can’t take me!” with my youngest theatre kids, typically 3-6 year old’s who can’t read or write very well yet. They love the heck out of this game. And, apparently, so do some of my older kids too. The premise of the game is this: We select a location (a classroom, a house, a nursery, a store, an amusement park, etc.). Each child chooses an object that would be found in that location (a fork in a silverware drawer, a hanger in a closet, a bean bag chair, a bucket, a pet, a flashlight, a pen, a stove, etc.), and then they assume the physical position of that object. I play the teacher/homeowner/store owner/amusement park boss who walks in and decides that I have too much stuff and that I simply must get rid of some it. I walk up to each child and say something along the lines of “Wow, look at all this stuff! I haven’t used most of it in years. Guess I’ll just have to get rid of it. I’ll start with this one…” and I pick one of the kids, give them a gentle shake, and the kid, usually laughing the whole time, giggles “No! You can’t take me!” and I say “Well, why not!?” and then they give me a clue as to what they are by giving me a reason why I cannot get rid of them, such as “Because if you get rid of me you won’t be able to make it to work on time” (a clock) or “Because if you get rid of me then how will you sleep at night?” (a bed). And then I try to guess what they are. They give these kinds of clues until I figure it out. Easy peasy. Usually. This particular round, with one of my 5th graders, however, was not. And it went something like this.
***
Me: Oh, I don’t think I need this old thing anymore. I’ll just have to get rid of it!
Kid: No, you can’t take me!
Me: Oh, I can’t? Well, why can’t I?
Kid: Because if you get rid of me, then where will you store stuff?
Me: Are you a closet?
Kid: No!
Me: Are you a crate?
Kid: Nooooo.
Me: Are you kitchen cabinets?
Kid: Nope.
Me: I think I need another clue or else I’ll just have to haul you off to Goodwill. Time to go…
Kid: No, you can’t take me!
Me: And why not!?
Kid: Because if you get rid of me then your kids will miss me!
Me: My kids will miss you?
Kid: Yup.
Me: But you store stuff?
Kid: Yup.
Me: Are you a refrigerator?
Kid: Uh-uh!
Me: Okay, kid. You gotta help me out here.
Kid: I’m an animal.
Me: ……
Kid: A pet.
Me: But you store stuff?
Another kid: I KNOW! YOU’RE A PREGNANT CAT!
Me & Kid: Ummmmmm.
Me: Are you a chipmunk and you store food in your cheeks?
Kid: Hahahaha. Chipmunks aren’t green.
Me: So, you’re green?
Kid: Yes.
Me: Ah!!! You’re a turtle, aren’t you? And you store yourself in your shell! (I’m feeling awfully proud of myself at this point for guessing something so obscure)
Kid: Nooooo.
Me: What!? How are you NOT a turtle!? You’re green!
Kid: Well, I can be any color, really. But I’m green.
Me: You’re really not a turtle?
Kid: It’s not that hard Mrs. R.
Me: Wow. Okay, look, we have dismissal in 2 minutes and I can’t figure it out, so I think you’re just going to have to tell me.
Kid: I’m a snake!!
Me:……..you’re a snake?
Kid: YES.
Me: But I thought you said you stored stuff?
Kid: I DO store stuff!
Me: Uh, you do?
Kid: I store, like, hamsters and stuff.
***
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
After I had a good long laugh we had a brief discussion on the differences between ‘storing’ and ‘eating.’
And my day was officially made.
Dear Pumpkin Seeds,
So, I was a little late on my Halloween pumpkin carving. On the upside, I did prolong your life by a good month and a half, and that is always a reason to celebrate. But now that I have gutted your three large pumpkiny shells, I am more than ready to season, roast, and enjoy the heck out of you. I cannot wait for the snacking feast that shall commence in front of a toasty fire with a winter woodchuck, and I will have leftovers for weeks!
Sincerely,
I’m Glad You’re So Delicious
***
Dear Snow Flurries,
For as much as I whine about you the mere thought of having to, God forbid, drive through you, I have to admit that you are calming and quite lovely. Yesterday morning you stopped by to visit for a few hours, and it was rather enjoyable and exciting to watch you. In fact, after 24 years of Texas living it actually seems quite unusual that it is December and you’re not here helping us to feel a little more Christmasy. Last year (you know, when we had a 316 ft. driveway to shovel) you basically parked yourself over Cincinnati and made yourself at home, but this year you’ve been oddly absent. I wouldn’t mind if you came to visit a little more often this month, but please choose days when my husband chauffeur is on duty . Thanks!
Sincerely,
Mixed Emotions
***
Dear Wednesday Night TV,
You are my mid-week sigh of relief! I’m go, go, go nonstop until I collapse into bed at midnight nearly every night of the week, so I love that I can always count on an hour and a half of relaxation and laughs every Wednesday between 8:30 and 10:00 p.m. Suburgatory, Modern Family, and Happy Endings, thank you for giving me a set period of time where I can drop the work, enjoy my husband’s company, and just let it all go. Thanks for being hilarious.
Sincerely,
TGIW
***
Dear Future Architects of City Downtown Districts,
Why all the one-way streets? Why all the parallel parking? Why all the sketchy parking garages? Why does it cost $8/hr. to park!? In the future, please think two-way streets, open parking lots, parks, and lots of lighting. My sanity thanks you.
Sincerely,
Parking Downtown Gives Me The Hives
***
Dear Cough & Cold,
Go away. You are not welcome here. And while we’re at it, please return my sense of smell and ability to taste immediately. It’s kind of a drag to have a Christmas tree you cannot smell, and an awesome meal you cannot taste. P.S. I’m also out of travel packs of Kleenex, household boxes of Kleenex, and $20 worth of cough syrup. You do reimburse, don’t you?
Sincerely,
Over It
***
Dear Christmas Break,
Game. On.
Sincerely,
Only 11 More Days of Work With No Day Off Until My Week of Sweet Freedom
***
Do you have an open letter to share this week?
