On Being an Un-Valentine

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Happy Valentine's Day to you, you poor, miserable, little fellow.

Valentine’s Day has never been a favorite holiday of mine. I prefer 4th of July, Thanksgiving and Halloween. I hate pink, and I never really got on board with the cupid confetti or holiday decorations. If I was feeling unusually festive, I might have worn a red shirt that day (or any other color shirt I found appealing to me) but I definitely skipped the iridescent pink lip gloss, hair straightener, and sugary perfume. A few years ago during college I remember making full-out handmade Valentines out of construction paper and lace with the true story of St. Valentine and a little love note attached to send to my friends and family – and it was a pain in the butt and I promptly decided that was the last time I was going to do that. I was always my parent’s Valentine. I gave or made my parents cards every year and once or twice I might have made a special dinner or dessert for them or something. My parents and sister were great about making sure I got a card from them every year too – and usually a little gift, a new sweater or a movie, accompanied my parent’s card. They showed me that Valentine’s Day wasn’t just about romantic love, but about appreciating every love in your life.

Oh Pepe, you shouldn't have...no, really.

Clearly, I didn’t have a vendetta against the holiday either. As an adolescent I didn’t slump around cloaked in black and mournfully displaying my bleeding heart shirt because I didn’t have a romantic Valentine. In fact, my most awesome Valentine’s date ever with at Olive Garden with my college-friend Tiffany. We were each other’s dates that year so we dressed up nice and treated each other to a dinner of creamy pasta and sunset margaritas! We knew it would be mobbed that night so we brought crayons, Valentine’s day coloring sheets, and candy to keep us entertained while we waited for our table (for an hour and a half). We colored our girlfriend-less high school waiter a pretty Valentine’s picture and left him a bag of candy and a nice tip. It was a blast and we were so happy to just be with each other! In high school I didn’t snarl at the girl’s bouncing through the halls clad in pink tees toting cards, roses, and heart-shaped boxes of candy from their suckers admirers. Simply put, I didn’t care one way or another. I was an easy Valentine to please – my boyfriend had it good. Though I made sure he knew he didn’t have to, I usually did receive a bouquet of flowers, a card, and a gift from him anyway. Probably initially because he was unsure of whether or not I was joking. Like it was a test and if he really didn’t get me anything I’d be pissed that he didn’t know better than to believe a female when she says she doesn’t want something and he’d be out. Come to think of it, I’m sure many a girl has played out that scenario with less than fortunate results, but I honestly would not have been offended if I’d gotten nothing more than a great hug. I’m much more smitten by sincerity and daily affection year-round than by flowers on Valentine’s Day.

The famed treasure trove of Valentine's goodness!

Truth be told, as I child I looked forward to decorating my shoebox the most. Oh, the possibilities! I think taking time out of educational classwork (especially if it was math!) to color a stupid shoebox was more exciting than the store bought packages of Inspector Gadget themed class cards that went into them! And the candy was pretty delightful back then too – and not the expensive boxes of assorted truffles. I’m talking the dinky junk that came on said class cards – tiny rolls of life savers, cherry heart-shaped lollipops, and conversation hearts (but only the white ones with really lame expressions on them like “fax me!” were my favorites  – what 3rd grader had access to a fax machine in 1994?) That was the good stuff!

My position on this holiday always was that every day should be Valentine’s Day. Meaning, you shouldn’t need a holiday to remind you to be extra nice, to give many hugs and kisses, to say “I Love You” or to get flowers, jewelry or a card for someone special (as material things like that are hardly a true expression of love anyway – they’re appreciated, but not really what counts). Besides, you don’t just have one Valentine once a year – you have parents, siblings, friends, and significant others year around to smother with love. Why pinpoint a single day? (Oh yes, so we can impose a 200% markup on blossoming bouquets, decadent chocolates, and thick glittery cards. That’s right.) Why not wait until tomorrow to buy these things, or June, or any day you feel like it? If you’re an excellent Valentine on Valentine’s day but crummy about expressing your love and appreciation with compliments, kisses, thank yous, and little surprises like making the bed or washing the dishes year around…what’s the point? Be a Pepe Le Pew everyday!

So, to all my family and all my friends (and to Sancho & Ted, of course), Happy Valentine’s Day! I love you and am thankful for you every single day!

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