How to cut a tree…in six easy steps.
1. Select a cold, snowy weekend shortly after Thanksgiving, find a sweet, hidden family-run tree farm out in the country that grows Balsam Firs (in our case, Windy Meadows Tree Farm in Brockport), down some hot oatmeal that sticks to your bones, pile on layers of your finest and warmest winter clothing, and drive for 45 minutes listening to Christmas music all the way.
2. At the farm, gather your tree cart, saw, and kneeling pad, and take off over the bridge-covered-stream into the snowy foresty abyss. Search aisle by aisle to find the perfect Balsam (obviously feeling and smelling each tree for freshness and marking favorite contenders with your…gloves).
3. Gloveless, retreat back into snowy foresty abyss from whence you came to try to track down your favorite trees and all said lost gloves (that are, coincidentally, the color of snow) in a farm of 8,000 snow-covered trees that all look the same. Deliberate between “this tree” or “that tree” and then claim “the one”!
4. Saw that sucker down making sure to get enough sap on you that you smell heavenly for the next 48 hours, instigate a game of dodge ball/snowball fight with husband, haul tree back to farm shed be shaken and baled, enjoy a cup of the matron of the farm’s hot apple cider and a hot soft pretzel homemade by the family’s adorable young son, and be a hoss and carry the prize beauty to the truck. Drive home listening to Christmas music all the way.
5. At home, promptly break tree stand. Drive to Home Depot and spend the remainder of your life savings to buy the last real, sturdy, metal tree stand (not made of crappy, cheap plastic) that apparently exists in this world. Pick up wine, pizza, and peppermint ice cream on the way home.
6. Put tree in stand, put stand inside, eat pizza, drink wine, enjoy peppermint ice cream, watch animated Christmas movie, and admire that beauty of a tree while reflecting on a really great day.
Yessir! And that, my friends, is how it’s done.
As I put on my outfit for the day, I realized that the only reason I actually have warm clothes to wear when it’s 8 degrees outside is because my family loves me. Those cozy wool socks above (and the awesome L mug!) were recent ‘just because’ gifts from Ted, and the remainder of my outfit was given to me by loving family members after I begged for winter clothes to keep me warm last year.
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My gloves and amazing snow boots that are rated for up to -25 degrees (Sorel – many seasons old) were the only pieces of my outfit that I purchased on my own. My socks (soft yet sturdy and warm wool stockings from Duluth – current season) were a gift from Ted, my matchstick jeans (J.Crew – many seasons old) were from my sister, my thin black/gray under-layer long johns (CuddlDuds – last season), green and striped thermal shirt (Columbia – last season), and teal knitted cap (Columbia – last season) were all purchased with Christmas money from my in-laws, and my down-filled teal vest and down-filled plum jacket (both Eddie Bauer – last season) were off-season sale gifts from my parents. Thank you everyone for clothing me and keeping me warm! Seriously, the only reason I have warm clothes is because of you guys. So, much love! For any other Texans looking for warm and cozy cold-climate clothing that is high quality, practical, attractive, and really stands up to the elements and frigid temperatures our thin skins are unaccustomed to, I highly recommend to you the brands I named above. Happy hunting snow bunnies!
