Epic Fail Friday: Simple Tasks Edition
Really simple things that people make unbelievably difficult.
Today’s topic is a personal favorite of mine. I work at an anonymous public institution where groups of people, from children to seniors, and people from all different walks of life converge to learn, play and enjoy the past, present and future. This a great thing to be involved in. But often we are bombarded with unbelievably ridiculous incidents. I’m amazed how many times we have to explain exceedingly simple tasks, over and over again, to confused people who just. don’t. get. it. and, somehow, these people manage to make easy things so much harder than they could ever really possibly be. Would you like a few examples?
Easy Task #1: Standing in a line. I don’t get it. What is so thoroughly challenging about finding the clear and obvious start of a line, joining that line, and standing in that line without complaining, cutting, badgering others, facing the wrong direction, forming your own line, creating your own incorrect entrance/exit, and rearranging the scansion that you shouldn’t be touching to your liking. And these are not children I’m talking about. These are full blown adults and seniors. People: You are making a stupid simple task a nightmare for everyone around you. Furthermore, when someone finally takes pity on your poor soul and explains to you how a line works, why do you look even more confused than ever and continue to stand there, doing the wrong thing and often the exact opposite of what you were just told to do, and looking completely dumbfounded?
Easy Task #2: Handing someone a ticket. When someone approaches you with an electronic ticket scanner and you are holding a ticket with a bar code on it, what do you think you should do? Cover up the bar code with your hand when you hold out your ticket the wrong direction, backwards and upside down? Hold out your hand or, even better, lean forward for your eyeballs to be scanned instead of your ticket? (This is not outer space, people) Recoil in horror while exclaiming “what are you going to do to me with that thing!?” No. You should simply hold out your ticket so that the bar code can be scanned. End of story. That’s it. While we’re at it, why would you throw away your tickets assuming you won’t need them again and then out of the thousands of faces we see daily, expect us to remember you? Keep your tickets. It’s a very simple task. Don’t make it any harder than it already is.
Easy Task #3: Parking in a legal parking space in a parking lot. Do you see those white and yellow arrows on the ground that point in opposing directions? Do you see that triangular section of diagonal white lines? Those are not parking spaces. That means you cannot, and should not, park there. I get that it’s a big, full parking lot. I get that that’s a long way for you to walk, and you’re lazy. But those arrows? That’s a lane, where people pass through from one section of the parking lot to the other. If you park there, nobody can get through and people cannot get into or out of the parking lot. This is, quite obviously, a problem. Not to mention a huge epic fail. If you cannot identify and abide by legal parking space, maybe you should reconsider driving at all.
Easy Task #4: Showing your ID card or giving a cashier your zip code. Especially if there is a sign reading “You must present your photo ID” then this stupid simple task should not be met with sighs, grumblings, glares, arguing, “Oh, I didn’t know I had to” or “Why?” Also, a zip code is a 5 digit number. When you expertly sprout out two digits like “1-8” or “2-0” the cashier is left to wonder when the U.S. zip code changed from 5 digits to only 2 and how on earth he/she could possibly innately know those first three numbers when Cincinnati, Northern Kentucky and Indiana have a million different zip code combinations to choose from.
Easy Task #5: Reading and following signs. Unless you cannot read or do not speak English, this should be a piece of cake. If a sign says “Line Starts Here” then why on earth are you cutting in front of that entire line of people? If the sign says “No Food or Drink Near the Precious, Rare, Irreplaceable and Exceedingly Expensive Artifacts” then why on earth do you seem so shocked when someone asks you to get rid of beloved venti coffee, your monster blue food-dye enhanced slushie and greasy twinkie? If you ask where a particular exhibit is located while standing directly next to a sign reading “Exhibit this way” accompanied by an arrow, don’t be shocked when I do nothing more than point to the sign, totally stupefied. Really, most of your stupid questions could be avoided entirely if you’d just read the signs we have so helpfully posted everywhere for you to read, or you know in your case, ignore entirely.
Easy Task #6: Wearing appropriate clothing in public. Though this requires no explanation, I will elaborate anyway. Leggings are not pants. Underwear are not shorts. A bikini top is not a shirt. See-through is not cute. And walking age children should not be running around a public institution barefoot.
Easy Task #7: Introducing yourself politely instead of just assuming that everyone knows who you are. Oh, you’re a member of the board of trustees? You’re an upper-level sponsor? You’re our biggest donor? The president of the institution? A volunteer? A Member?Great! Next time, instead of getting all huffy and offended when some lowly employee who has never seen you before in their life and has not a clue who you are or how important you, apparently, are asks to see your ticket or photo ID, just get out your ticket or ID like a normal human being or, if you simply must flaunt it, kindly state your name and title. It’s rude for you to expect for me to just instinctively know who you are and then get mad when you’re asked for ID. This is an easy task for someone so brilliant. Just swallow your pride and get the ticket or ID. It’s that easy.
Easy Task #8: Operating the elevator. Good God this is not brain surgery.
How many really simple things that people make unbelievably difficult do you see every day that you want to ponder on this Epic Fail Friday? If you have any good ones, please feel free to share!
