Did you hear about the Egyptian cobra missing from the Bronx zoo? Missing. This is definitely my favorite news story of the year, possibly ever. Two days now she’s been MIA. She’s only a few months old and 20″ long, so when curled up she’d be about the size of a small fist. Presumably the little dude is frightened and has taken a liking to hiding among all the wires, pipes and cables of the inner-rooms of the reptile house. It could take quite a while to find her, zookeepers say. Did I mention that she is extremely venomous? Excellent. Surprisingly, with all the pansies out there, zoo attendance has not been affected. There is a sign on an 8.5″x11″ piece of paper that reads, simply, “The reptile house is closed today.” No shit.
That’s not even the best part though! Some complete genius of an individual has adopted the character of the cobra and the moniker “BronxZoosCobra” on Twitter (find her twitter feed here) and has been tweeting these amazing little snippets about her grand New York tour as if he/she were the missing cobra out for a week on the town! Did I mention this individual is a complete and utter genius and I’m beyond jealous I didn’t think of it first? BronxZoosCobra twitter account has nearly 153,000 followers already. Including TheBronxZoo, appropriately enough. The zoo has said, again, appropriately enough, “Right now, it’s the snake’s game.” Oh, the beautiful and hilarious irony of it all! And boy, does this tongue-in-cheek cobra have a great sense of humor (and, um, excellent marketing skills)! Because I nearly peed my pants laughing hissterically at work today, I have to share some of my favorite tweets from this infamous little slitherer.
First, her name reads “Bronx Zoo’s Cobra” and her location reads “I’m not at the Bronx zoo!” In an email to the Associated Press, the cobra said, “The iPhone touch screen works just as well with a tail. Thankssss.” Onto the tweets!
Anyone know if Rebecca Black [a popstar] lives in NYC? No reason.
Want to clear up a misconception. I’m not poisonous as has been reported. I’m venomous. Super venomous, but not poisonous so don’t worry.
What does it take to get a cab in this city?! It’s cause I’m not white, isn’t it?
Holding very still in the snake exhibit at the Museum of Natural History. This is gonna be hilarious!
Gonna take a ViPR class at Equinox Greenwich Ave. From the sound of this, it should be cake.
Rockefeller Plaza is amaz….wait…OMG! Tina Fey totally just walked by me! HUUUUGE FAN!
Gonna listen to some Jazz tonight. You know I love some great flute work. Do they provide it or is it bring your own basket?
It’s getting pretty cold out. I think it’s probably time to crash. Oh look, an apartment window someone left open just a crack. Perfect!
At the Metropolitan Museum of Art. The Temple of Dendur really kicks some asp!
Enjoying a cupcake at Magnolia Bakery. This is going straight to my hips. Oh, wait. I don’t have hips. Yesss!
Don’t turn around. I’m right behind you. Just kidding! lol!
On top of the Empire State Building! All the people look like little mice down there. Delicious little mice.
City may not sleep, but I’m ready to. Ooh a chimney! I bet you bragged to your friends about having a working fireplace in NYC. Hi roomie.
Getting on the ferry to Ellis Island. Let’s hope this goes better than that time on the plane.
Love the Snakes on a Plane movie reference! Seriously, this made my day. I was having such a crappy, lousy, no good, very bad day at work and this just brightened my life. I was instantly laughing. I love the humor and irony of it all. Again, why was I not the genius to think of this first? Instant career jumpstart. One day I’ll bank on a fabulous idea – just you wait.
In non-snake related news, we registered for a 5k run/walk right by our home through Mt. Washington and Mt. Lookout, sponsored by Guardian Angels, that is to take place this coming Saturday morning at 9 a.m. Temperatures are slated to be in the low 40s with light rain, and I’m not even sure I own exercise clothes other than my stylin’ jazz pants and ballet leotards from 2003. I know. Lest you were mistaken and actually thought I would be running, let me clarify that we registered for the 5k walk, not the run. Whew! That must have been mind-boggling for you there for a second! Ted is, after all, only a month out of knee surgery, and I, well, my running is almost always preceded by something traumatic – for example the sighting of a coyote in my backyard (that would be the last time I ran, in fact), a scorpion, spider, bee, or perhaps, a loose Egyptian cobra. We will be walking, maybe speed walking if we’re feeling feisty, the 5k. I’ll let you know how that goes, but we’re looking forward to it and the Cincinnati Reds v. Milwaukee Brewers MLB game we’re going to that night!
Back on the subject of critters, a couple of days ago on our way to work, the image of the Clyde & Seamore show at Seaworld in San Antonio randomly popped into my head and bombarded my thoughts for the rest of the commute. I have the best memories of watching that show as a child whenever we went to Seaworld and more recently as an adult, the day after my college graduation, with my family. It’s a show devoted to an otter, sea lion and walrus solving mysteries, wreaking havok, screwing with the evidence, doing animal tricks, and pulling pranks alongside Seaworld actors to the tune of kitschy mystery music, and a larger-than-life set and props. It’s funny stuff. I’ve loved this show ever since I was a little kid, and though the basic premise has been the same all these years, the plot and setting change often. This is like my dream job, people! Professional acting and sea mammals all rolled into one fun, comedic ball of greatness? Yes, please!
Anyhow, I have decided that Ted must know of this amazing show from first-hand experience and that he will come with me to Seaworld when we visit San Antonio and we’ll probably have to go with my friend Katie because I cannot deny Katie the opportunity to see me face-plant it into another shark tank. They’ll both thank me later. I’m ridiculously excited for this eventual excursion.
And finally, one of Ted’s students at CCM who lives in Jersey and went home for spring break brought Ted back a package of Tasty Cakes from Philadelphia. Ted raved about the deliciousness of Tasty Cakes, a Philly treat, but since I haven’t been to Philly (yet), I hadn’t tried them….yet. He brought home the box tonight and we dug into a pack after dinner and they are, indeed, yummy. They’re exactly like the chocolate peanut butter Girl Scout cookie Tagalongs, except with cake in the middle! Mmmm. Mmmm. Mmmm!
On that happy thought, good night and sweet dreams. Ssssssleep well, friends.
LMAO! Sounds like a plan!